TOP 4 WISHES 1. To earn money without working. 2. To be smart without studying. 3. To love without being hurt. 4. To eat without getting fat. — Unkown Copy Share Image
Personnely I think that conservatives & liberals should move towards the middle of the road. Makes it easier to run'em over. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If I said It would take too long to explain. I really meant I have no idea how it works. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I just got engaged. My fiancée won't take my name because Lisa Levin sounds awful. So she's just going to remain Lisa… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it. — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
WAIT! a minute if people who drink alcohol are alcoholics, then I should drink Fanta, and be fantastic ! — Maggy Smexi Harris Copy Share Image
If we all end up in prison one day for illegal music downloads, I can only hope that they divide us by… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Give me some sunshine. Give me some rain. Give me another girl's number, I'm single once again. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
I wish I had powers so I could magically make a peperoni pizza appear in front of me along with Channing Tatum! — Lisette Alfaro Copy Share Image
I don't need beer to have a good time, I just need it to focus, avoid depression, good tweets, fall asleep, and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you relize you've been singing the wrong lyrics to your favorite song, when you google & read the… — Syoung Copy Share Image
Look officer, I'm not being a smartass. All I'm sayin' is if you caught me then you were speeding too. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Happy Friday to all my loyal friends and to all you backstabbing, two faced, fake friends I hope karma bitch slaps you! — Brian Zilinek Copy Share Image
Some people are like Slinkies...not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Honey, please help me find a match for this sock. What for? Are you going to set it on fire? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have been talking to a couple of people today; Me, myself and I... They are all great. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
I've realized that instead of posting all my problems on Facebook, its better to find solutions for them on Google. — Barbara Franco Copy Share Image
Recent Activity On A Girl's Profile: She Has Changed Her Profile Picture. She Has Changed Her Profile Picture. She Has Changed Her… — Faizu Copy Share Image
Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
My girl went away for the weekend, and I didn't masturbate once. I masturbated 21 times. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They always say to treat people the way you want to be treated. So far, I've given 4 handjobs today. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I dont make enough money to go on vacation, so I'm just going to get drunk this weekend until I dont know… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Facebook is a place where humans communicate with each onther soooo wtf are you doing here this is not a Zoo!! — Natasha Uys Copy Share Image
I'm not addicted to facebook! You know, I just use it whenever I have time. Lunch time, break time, bed time, off… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If Facebook is like dating, then Twitter is like a one night stand - it's fun while you're doing it, you finish… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear math , I liked you a whole lot more before you and the alphabet started hooking up Sincerely, All students. — Xuan Ta Copy Share Image
When someone looks at your baby pictures and jokingly says 'Aww you were soo cute! What happened?' Tell them; 'B*tch, I got… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've always wondered why it's called a walkie talkie, yet a vacuum isn't called a pushy sucky? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Nothing is sadder than a guy who complains on Facebook about how shitty his sex life is. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
How does a doctor feel when he loses a patient in the emergency room? The same way a child feels when he… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I failed my Driver's test. Driving teacher: 'What do you do at a red light?' Me: 'I usually respond to texts and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My wife always bring these injured animals to home. I think she should just stop driving. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Makes me laugh how every rapper goes around sayin things like, I fucked yo bitch…umm since when was getting sloppy seconds a… — Brian Zilinek Copy Share Image
When I kill a bug in my house, I leave the dead body around for a bit to warn the others.!!! — Tufail Mehraj Copy Share Image
Man facebook got some nerve I git invited to some event and it goes and picks out my date what you think… — Jeremy Smith Copy Share Image
People staying in line for $300 sneakers...People standing in line for the club..but will those same people stay in line to vote? — JORdinary_[Ws Copy Share Image
My wifi suddenly stop working then I realized that my neighbors have not paid the bill. How irresponsible people are — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For all the young girls getting tattoos, Remember: A butterfly on the back becomes a buzzard in the crack when you get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
