I don't care about your opinion or my cameras; my mirror thinks I'm sexy, therefore I'm a sexy-beast! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
At the zoo, all the animals have a decent composure, except for the monkeys. You get the feeling man is very close… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
People who say lying gets you in trouble are liars.. As far as I know.. An honest answer gets u in deep… — SouL Copy Share Image
Silence is the best answer of all questions and Smile is the best reaction in all situations. Unfortunately both never help in… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Applause to the person that erased you, then blocked you and is now looking at your FACEBOOK PROFILE through a friends account. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. Like this Bible. It cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
For me a girl's mind is the best hard disk in the world With least 10000000 GB of memory They remember all… — Kand3n Copy Share Image
The origin of the word Boob: The B is the aerial view, the oo is the front view, the b is the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. -- A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Anytime a bird takes a crap on my car, I eat an entire plate of scrambled eggs on my porch. Just to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Life depends on the way you think. For example, read this: Mypenisinhermouth. What did you read? My pen is in her mouth.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
One thing nice about being dead is that you immediately become eligible to appear on stamps and money. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't want to hear you complain about the heat unless you are planning to take off all your clothes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They should name hurricanes with black people names. I'd be terrified of hurricane Shanaynay. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Person: So what are you going to be for Halloween? You: Well I was wondering if I could borrow the mask youre… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always thought an Oxymoron was an idiot addicted to synthetic heroin until I Googled it...lol — Brian Zilinek Copy Share Image
Dear Face Wash Commercials, nobody actually splashes their face with water like that. Sincerely, my whole damn bathroom floor is wet. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm getting out of bed in 10 seconds… 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...9...9...9...9...9...9 — Don Raj Copy Share Image
Me: Where have you been all my life? She: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, SMART, A man who buys his wife such fine china that she will never trust him to do the dishes; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Woman say:I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? Woman means:I can't believe you have nothing planned! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Six things we say at school.Im tired. Im cold. I dont get it. Im hungry.What time is it? I wanna go home. — Aalaynah Thompson Copy Share Image
I don't think people know the difference between someone giving you a compliment and someone being thirsty. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Two things in life that are difficult to achieve: 1. To plant your idea in someone's head. 2. To plant someone's money… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Deja Vu is when God thinks something is so funny, that he has to rewind it to show it to his friends. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The number of times you say Dont judge me is directly proportional to the amount of things you do that you know… — Lars Propst Copy Share Image
I'm not saying she's a slut but whenever she eats a banana in public, she puts one hand behind her head. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I read the newspaper every day just to see if there's anyone I know in the obituaries or the underwear ads. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Husbands are like guns ... keep one around for long enough and you're gonna want to shoot it! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Playing the stock market is very similar to playing the lottery, except you actually win sometimes at the lottery — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
If u cant change the life change the wife ... ;) life automatically change :P lmao . :) ;) — Kd Copy Share Image
Is wondering exactly what the individual who discovered milk was initially doing with the cow.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When guys ask you to send a picture of yourself...we're not asking for the one you took with your grandma last night. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
No matter how good she looks, Some other guy is sick and tired Of putting up with her shit. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more fucked up than you think. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Oh, you lost your cell phone on vibrate? If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it. — Nishan Singh Copy Share Image
When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when your chair makes a farting noise and you can't make the noise again to prove u didn't fart… — Lol Copy Share Image
That annoying moment when you post a funny status and there's that one person who ruins it by sayin something serious -_- — Tanya Bianco Copy Share Image
