Funny facebook status Quotes · Page 48

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

— Nikhil Saluja

If the last page of your notebook is blank, you surely lack of creativity.

— Punkinhead Abhishek

It's sick the way you people keep having sex without me.

— Nikhil Saluja

They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Whos in a hurry?

— Anonymous

If cheerleading is a sport then so is beer pong.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'd like to have a child one day.. two days at the most.

— Anonymous

Oh you're the type of girl that uses your personality as birth control.

— Nikhil Saluja

Face it, we wont get the perfect ending. Even Cinderalla has problems

— Kenzie-ann

Smart phones, smart cars, smart televisions... when are they going to start making smart people?

— Tanya Bianco

Does anyone have that light switch in their house that they really don't know what it goes to...

— Anonymous

I hate when women say that all men want from them is sex, coz that's bullshit. We want you for blowjobs too.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you watch Jaws backwards; it's actually a film about a shark that throws up so many people that they have to…

— Anonymous

To steal ideas from one person, would be plagiarism, to steal ideas from many is called research.

— Anonymous

Woman say:CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS? Woman means:There is no way I'm going to let any part of your body touch any…

— Nikhil Saluja

Compromise: The art of dividing the cake in a way that makes everyone believe they got the largest piece.

— Nikhil Saluja

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

— Nikhil Saluja

If I'm not back in five minutes ... just wait longer.

— Nikhil Saluja

That awkward moment when you bend over in front of pinnochio and he lies.

— Anonymous

My friend of dreams don't believe me, that I am dreaming.

— Nikhil Saluja

Weights & Measures: 1,000,000 aches and pains = 1 megaHertz

— Nikhil Saluja

Before becoming master fisherman, must be master baiter.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.

— Anonymous

My biggest problem is falling in love with those who retweet me,

— Nikhil Saluja

Better out then in, I always say! until you shit yourself!

— Ronald Murray

One of my coworkers has an annoying habit, He works! Makes me look bad.

— Nikhil Saluja

Relationships these days are shorter than a females period. -Just Saying

— Ephrem Hardin

Rumors. Well at least you're spreading something else besides your legs.

— Anonymous

Going to McDonald's to get a salad is like going to a brothel for a hug.

— Anonymous

OH NICE, so you can update your status via mobile, but you cant text me back?

— Anonymous

Baby I need you like plankton needs the secret krabby patty formula

— Itsme867

Did your mom drop you as a baby? Yeah, into a pool of sexy.

— Anonymous

I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm not sure how I feel about these feelings things.

— Nikhil Saluja

Spiders are nature's perverts... Why else are they found in the bathrooms?

— Nikhil Saluja

No matter how funny you are, if I don't like you I wont laugh.

— Anonymous

A girl gives you breakfast in bed. The woman gives you breakfast and head.

— Nikhil Saluja

They say I have A.D.D. but I think they're full of...oh look a kitty!

— Nishan Singh

Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on

— Hussein Nishah

Omg its so true! Monkeys are the WORST drivers!

— Nikhil Saluja

Admit it: You can't spell subtext without buttsex.

— Anonymous