Funny facebook status Quotes · Page 44

Time flies like an arrow, and fruit flies like a banana.

— Alec Straub

Which book you cannot find in a library? Cheque-books.

— Muskaan

Two word's guys hate don't and stop unless you put them together!

— Anonymous

What does a horse eat? Hay. What does a gay horse eat? Haaaaaaaaaaaaay!

— Itsme867

If you mix up your sweet breath for your visine your going to have a bad day.

— Antonio

The sad thing about facebook is it's more accurate than the weather man.

— Kayla Zmayefski

A woman can say more in a retweet, than a man can say in a tweet.

— Nikhil Saluja

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

— Nikhil Saluja

Facebook event invites from people you barely know should really have a 'seriously?' option in the reply.

— Anonymous

If you can't be the reason behind her smile, at least be the reason she walks funny for a while!

— Nikhil Saluja

Your the type of person who walks up while I'm cutting grass and ask what I'm doing? Bitch I'm cutting grass ...

— Lonniedagreat

Facts are meaningless - you could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!

— Nikhil Saluja

If Facebook ever shuts down. You'll see people roaming the streets shoving pictures in others faces screaming 'Do you like this!?!?!.. DO…

— Anonymous

He'll never be better than he is on the first date. Unless he's rich and hasn't told you yet.

— Nikhil Saluja

I want to go on a shopping trip where I am the only one in the shopping mall and everything I want…

— Mee

If the world was run by women, it would be mostly peaceful with heated arguments every 28 days.

— Alec Straub

Wedding dresses are white so the dishwasher will match the oven and the fridge.

— Nikhil Saluja

I finally found love! Page 126 in the Dictionary!.. (._.)

— Anonymous

I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

— Nikhil Saluja

Hun, You might not wanna stand that close to the heater, Plastic melts.

— Anonymous

Sign on a frozen-food counter: Best meals you ever thaw.

— Nikhil Saluja

Nobody cleans a house faster than a guy expecting pussy...

— Kevin McCarty

Hey I just Met you, Nd You Look Crazy, But Here's A Dollar, Go Feed Your Baby

— Krystal

As I was filling up my gas tank I realized I didn't want to eat this week anyways.

— Anonymous

Facebook delete and block, the modern way of saying, Go f*ck yourself.

— Azgraybebly Joslan

If you miss someone just tag their names to remember you! :D

— Mc Vinzed

A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail.

— Nikhil Saluja

True love is a wonder that has no end or beginning.

— Nikhil Saluja

I am proud of my heart.It's played,burned and broken.But still works

— Abhishek Tiwari

Putting on jeans: Left leg, right leg, wiggle, jump, done! Who else does this? ;]

— Tanya Bianco

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

— Nikhil Saluja

*Follows Dreams* *Wait for few hours* *Dreams dont follow back* *Unfollows dreams*

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't like me? Cool, I don't wake up every day to impress you.

— Anonymous

Third party auditor is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby.

— Nikhil Saluja

I hate it when I forget to turn my swag off at night and I wake up covered in b*tches.

— Anonymous

Everything is funnier, when you're not allowed to laugh.

— Punkinhead Abhishek

The new weed whacker is cutting-hedge technology.

— Nikhil Saluja

Taking subtle shots at someone on Facebook and acting cool to their face=bitch move

— Brian Zilinek

If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all

— Hussein Nishah

I miss the days where I starred you and you retweeted me.

— Nikhil Saluja