After cooking dinner tonight, I realized there is no straight way to wash a carrot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The only thing a woman wants people saying behind her back is nice ass. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There is so much drama on Facebook, I'm surprised that they don't have an awards show. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Okay. - the only thing ever said by guys in Sex, Shower and Sandwitch. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm 4 months pregnant, and its your baby . — Carlos Banks Copy Share Image
Sometimes you follow the rules, sometimes you break the rules, and sometimes, if you're lucky…you MAKE the rules!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Police have special ability from an ice. Whenever police say 'FREEZE!!' all people that they want will frozen — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Life is like Facebook. People will like your problems & comment, but no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs — Anonymous Copy Share Image
All women are witches, but if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will probably spare you from black… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
RELATIONSHIP like Bonnie and Clyde ; SEX like Jody and Yvette ; ARGUE like Ike and Tina ; and MAKE UP like Martin and Gina. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If Big Sean's voice was Siri's Voice on the iPhone 5...'Turn left boiiii...Wait, HOLD UP! Whoa Dereee! Wrong way! Swerveeeee.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Cop pulls man over for suspicion of drunk driving. Cop: Sir have you been drinking? Man: No. Cop: Papers. Man: Scissors, I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm sucker for a big chest and a shorty and, you can throw in the ass too I guess... — Kevin Mccarty Copy Share Image
Marriage paralyzes men from the neck up and women from the waist down. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Your Starbucks order is directly proportional to how complicated your personality is. — Kevin Copy Share Image
Okay mom...you know I love you...but I can't accept your friend request on Facebook. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Everytime someone tweet 'Love is in the air' I usually go & shave my balls. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I accidentally bumped into my ex today...With my car...at 60mph...on purpose. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can't listen to the radio. Every love song reminds me of you. It hurts. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't think I could ever stab someone...I can barely get the straw in the Capri-Sun. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
LOVE, Something which combines the two greatest powers on earth -- war and peace; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The next time a women says all men are dogs, ask her which breed her father is .. — Camille Cassie Govender Copy Share Image
Welcome to 2012: Presidents are black, rappers are white, and asians play basketball. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
