What was the first tweet of twitter? Probably about assholes coming soon. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is... your list with names of naughty girls. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The 3 biggest lies : I love you. I'm fine. Sorry, that was my last piece of gum. — Desteni Clay Copy Share Image
I love it when I buy a bag of air & the company is nice enough to put some chips in. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't get how you can have so much money to shop every day, but you dress ugly. — Kevin Copy Share Image
I might not live forever...so love me while you can..kiss me like its my last breathe, and tell me goodbye like you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when someone says something to you for the fifth time and you still dont know what they said. — Enhance Dreams Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you turn the page and realize that you have no idea what you just read — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Linkedin invitations are like herpes...They pop up from time to time to remind you they still exist and nobody wants them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Someone told me I should run for president. Dont you think that weve had enough boobs in the White House? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear 12 year olds on Facebook, how are you in a complicated relationship?! Did they steal your cookies? — Christine Ramkran Copy Share Image
U see that there on the floor? Thats the taste she done slapped out ur mouth lol — Brittney Copy Share Image
That mini heart attack moment when you don't feel your phone in your pocket. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You u need in this world is love...and a little chocolate now and than wont hurt. — Lula Starr Copy Share Image
What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I mention someone, get no replyback, and I'm left feeling like an idiot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkard laugh when no sound comes out and your clapping like a retarted seal. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A wife is just an attachment men screw on the bed to get the housework done. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkward moment where your iPhone talks to you way more than your girlfriend. — Chad Robinson Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, GOOD, A man who feels in his pockets every time he passes a mailbox — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Lmaooo You Got BIGGG Boobs & NO Butt. . . . . You Look Like The Letter P — Jason Santana Copy Share Image
Officer to drunk boy : How high are you? Drunk Boy: No officer, its Hi! How are you? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Kids in the back seat cause accidents.. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Congratulations, you have officially earned the Dumber than a Box of Rocks Award. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
