I hate to travel. I guess it's because my father used to beat me with a globe. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Our generation doesn't ring the doorbell. We text or call to say we're outside. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
Don't try to please people you'll fail, But you can piss them off and please yourself! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I just learned today that bacteria is not the back door of a cafeteria. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Johnny asks grandpa: Do you still have sex with granny? Grandpa says: Yes, but only oral. Johnny asks: What is oral? Grandpa… — Daniel Vargas Copy Share Image
For April Fools Day, I think Facebook should switch the search box and the status update box around. So people would post… — Stephanie Copy Share Image
No matter how bad your day is going, just remember that somewhere in the world someone just got a pubic hair in… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Woman say:I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW. Woman means:I just don't want YOU as a boyfriend now. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't know why they call it a Walk of Shame. You just had sex last night and now everyone knows it.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only thing I have learned in thirty years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions like that. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Some people don't have the vision to want what they could have, but would rather settle for what's close by. — Adar Burks Copy Share Image
HR Manager is a person who thinks that... a Donkey can deliver a Human Baby - if given 9 Months !!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, Something they say is blind -- it's marriage which is the real eye opener; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Too MANY people ask for the truth, but too FEW can actually handle it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There's a fine line between tan and looking liked you rolled around in Doritos. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My excuse for being lazy: I'm not the real slim shady, so why would I stand up? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whenever I masturbate I always pretend my right hand has a British accent. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
No tears,no fears,respect it don't neglect it! I let my haters be my motivators! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only reason I'd ask what happen today, is to steal some ideas to tweet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I changed all my passwords to 'incorrect'. So my computer just tells me when I forget. — Aicel Copy Share Image
Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
