Funny facebook status Quotes · Page 30

Better to be thought stupid than to speak and remove all doubt.

— Nikhil Saluja

Facebook lets you know what everyones bathroom looks like.

— Itsme867

I'm not a NERD. I just don't want to work at MCDONALD'S when I'm older.

— Itsme867

Gay people are such great dressers because they've spent a lot of time in the closet.

— Itsme867

I want someone to look at me, the way that I look at Chocolate Cake.

— Danish

He's waiting for me to reply, I'm waiting on my food to arrive.

— Anonymous

Roses are red, violets are blue. God made me beautiful, what the hell happened to you?

— Anonymous

When all else fails, admit I'm right and kiss my ass.

— Ritu Ghatourey

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my fav cake for me, and I learned that the little things…

— Nikhil Saluja

I want to make a FB account with the name of 346283 People so whenever I like a status, it'll say 346283…

— Travis Scott

Did you know? Its impossible to say Good Eye Might without sounding Australian? LIKE if you tried :)

— Becca

Want to learn how to dance? Have a cold shower today at midnight, I bet, Youll rock like SHAKIRA :)

— Anonymous

It's funny how when I'm loud , people tell me to be quiet, but when I'm quiet, people ask me whats wrong…

— Kiara Sellars

I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is

— Hussein Nishah

Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

— Nikhil Saluja

A wise man once said... relationships are like jacking off… no doubt, they're amazing.. but they always end in a mess.

— Anonymous

Presenting FACEBOOK: The place where bitches become FB gangsters.

— Anonymous

Me:Im finally happy:)..Life:Oh damn, That can't happen. Let me throw something bad in.

— Anonymous

If I had something to hide I would carry a safe

— Kenzie-ann

Atom Bomb: The invention to end all other inventions.

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't think I could ever stab someone...I can barely get the straw in the Capri-Sun.

— Anonymous

"I think we should feel other people." (Blind couple breaking up.)

— Anonymous

LOVE, Something which combines the two greatest powers on earth -- war and peace;

— Nikhil Saluja

The next time a women says all men are dogs, ask her which breed her father is ..

— Camille Cassie Govender

Welcome to 2012: Presidents are black, rappers are white, and asians play basketball.

— Anonymous

Best invention ever; a mirror that takes pictures

— Becca

Favstar is nothing but parallel universe for twitter.

— Nikhil Saluja

WRINKLES: Something other people have, Similar to my character lines.

— Nikhil Saluja

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

— Nikhil Saluja

Just got this off the internet Rea da first bit

— Mee

Marriage paralyzes men from the neck up and women from the waist down.

— Nikhil Saluja

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

— Anonymous

Your Starbucks order is directly proportional to how complicated your personality is.

— Kevin

Okay mom...you know I love you...but I can't accept your friend request on Facebook.

— Anonymous

Dubstep : A rap battle between the Autobots and Decepticons.

— Anonymous

Saying cray instead of crazy is just plain lay.

— Anonymous

Everytime someone tweet 'Love is in the air' I usually go & shave my balls.

— Nikhil Saluja

I accidentally bumped into my ex today...With my car...at 60mph...on purpose.

— Anonymous

You're saying butt-kisser like it's a bad thing!

— Nikhil Saluja

I can't listen to the radio. Every love song reminds me of you. It hurts.

— Nikhil Saluja