Funny facebook status Quotes · Page 22

Relationships can end, if you stop doing what you did at the beginning.

— Nikhil Saluja

Once upon a time there was a girl who no longer gave a f*ck.. The End

— Anonymous

Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies

— Hussein Nishah

I am done with this relationship, I declare u 'single n searching'.

— Unkown

I'm organizing a baby shower for my girlfriend. She's a midget.

— Nikhil Saluja

Dealing with assholes is a perfect timepass.

— Nikhil Saluja

Im not getting older, Im just becoming a classic

— Hussein Nishah

If abortion is murder, then are condoms kidnapping...

— Anonymous

When girls hack a friends Facebook account: 'I love you b*tch!' When boys hack a friends Facebook account: 'I LOVE D*CK IN…

— Anonymous

Best way to get out of a text convo: "The message could not be delivered due to a temporary network setup error.…

— Anonymous

Theres two kinds of women: The kind that get married and have a bunch of kids, and The kind that stay single…

— Nikhil Saluja

I just need a day off, from reality, just a day without people, problems, and all the bullshit that runs through my…

— Kevin McCarty

Halloween: Is one night of the year when all households save the most on their electricity bill.

— Anonymous

If you bleach your asshole and add ammonia... would you fart Mustard Gas? ' Asking for a Friend

— Nikhil Saluja

You don't take good pictures...when told, you say ''beauty is skin deep'' why didn't you have an x-ray scan then?

— Anonymous

I hate being tickled, I do not think it's cute, I do not find it funny, I will kick you in the…

— Anonymous

If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :) :o

— Mac

I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide. lol.

— MoCHY

Why Tweet on Twitter when you can Fook on Facebook!

— Desmond Fouche

LOVE, TRUE, marrying a girl, even though she hasn't a steady job

— Nikhil Saluja

I used to sleep at night, but then I found facebook

— Ritu Ghatourey

I bet that in prison everyone's FB relationship status is set to "it's complicated".

— Anonymous

We used to live our life with Internet and now we live in Internet with our life

— Ritu Ghatourey

If there was a black character in Clue, the game would be called Solved.

— Anonymous

I lost her at stop telling me about your funny tweets

— Nikhil Saluja

When I read a fashion magazine, I don't actually read it. I just scan..

— Anonymous

Window: What I hope to do when I go to Las Vegas

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.

— Anonymous

I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.

— Jon Lajoie

Going to mcdonalds for a salad is like going to a prossitute for a hug

— Zane Raymond

Stress here, stress there, stress everywhere.

— Joantonette Morano

I've given up trying to escape from reality..they always find me anyway!..

— Anonymous

Love Love, to be real, must cost, it must hurt, it must empty us of self.

— Nikhil Saluja

Drunk Twitter because embarrassing myself in one zip code was never enough.

— Nikhil Saluja

Being such a good cook that even the fire alarm cheers you on.

— Anonymous

I always start my diet on the same day. Tommorow!

— Nikhil Saluja

Facebook helps me to connect with 99 enemies and 1 pal……

— Pratik Sharma

You'll have to speak up... I'm wearing a towel.

— Anonymous

Everyone makes mistakes, just like your parents did! ;o

— Zendy

Mean people suck, come over here and show me how mean you can be.

— Anonymous