Funny facebook status Quotes · Page 19

F.A.D. Facebook Addiction Disorder. It's REAL. Google it.

— Brian Zilinek

Awkward moment when someone says HEY!!! Remember me? Your response Nope -Just Saying

— Ephrem Hardin

If a woman is talking to me about her problems, I better be the cause of them.

— Hero

Rhapsody: To enclose a can of Coke in festive paper

— Nikhil Saluja

I decided to burn some calories so I set a fat kid on fire.

— Anonymous

Every gay guys GPS system would tell him to Go straight. haha

— Will Ferrell

You never realize what you have until its gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

— Itsme867

Woman can take unpredictable to a whole new level of psycho if you test them...

— Nikhil Saluja

I saw a license plate yesterday that said "I Miss New York", so I smashed their window and stole their radio.

— Anonymous

Ofcourse gay men dress well... They didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing

— Nikhil Saluja

Having a cold drink on a hot day with a few friends is nice...What about having a hot friend on a cold…

— Anonymous

I'm fairly sure that my cute next door neighbor thinks I'm a stalker. She wrote it on Facebook, Twitter and even in…

— Anonymous

Telling someone their breath smells without hurting their feelings...'Well I'm bored, let's go brush our teeth!'

— Anonymous

Halfway into a conversation with a person and all I can think about is,damn I wish I could rememer what their name…

— Nikkileigh321

The 'Awkward Moment' when ur when you start yelling at someome and they put there hand over your mouth.

— Anonymous

Thinks its funny when people read someone elses status & start to wonder if it has something to do with them.

— Arjun Loveable

I just bashed my head on the keyboard and accidently wrote the 5th Twilight book!

— Rexxy Rhode

The awkward moment when people use photoshop and they still look bad!

— Itsme867

I'm not being lazy, I'm on energy saving mode!..

— Anonymous

God made woman and the other day he made beer because he was like holy fuck, sorry bro.

— Nikhil Saluja

You can never really say whats' on your mind, when your family is on Facebook.

— Nishan Panwar

My penis should make me breakfast on morning. It is always up before I am.

— Anonymous

LOVE, Is like war -- simple to begin but the devil to stop;

— Nikhil Saluja

That urge you get to write no one gives a shit on someones status.

— Becca

Exit Facebook, close laptop, get into bed, unlock phone, check Facebook …

— Anonymous

My mind is now so crowded with valuable information that I can't think.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, SMART, A man who is on listening terms with his wife

— Nikhil Saluja

I started out with nothing...and I still have most of it left.

— Nikhil Saluja

Being fat = Lowers your chance of getting kidnapped.

— Pretty Ladii

They say sweat is fat crying, Boy please you cry more that you sweat during workouts

— CJ

It's going to be Drizzy outside today...expect a Lil Wayne.

— Anonymous

I hate people that starts a Facebook post with I hate people datàªlol¬

— IG:catone_2_funny

Vice: Anything you enjoy that is bad for you

— Nikhil Saluja

Why do tests on animals if we have pedophiles in prison.

— Anonymous

Google+ is the gym of social networking: We all join, but nobody actually uses it.

— Anonymous

Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google and Wikipedia.

— Enhance Dreams

Friends are like condoms. They are always there to protect you when things get hard.

— Anonymous

I dont hate you¦Im just not necessarily excited about your existence.

— Anonymous

Have u ever smashed a girl who's stomach lookd like balld up homework

— Anonymous

Disney Channel should stop making new shows and replay all the old ones.

— Anonymous