I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
That moment when the ugliest guy you know gets a girlfriend and your still single. — Mario Tomasello Copy Share Image
When people try to call me an angel but spell angle. Am I at least acute angle? :) — Sarahi Gonzalez Copy Share Image
To meet, to know, to love, to share then to part is the sad tale of the human heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When he is without money, his wife becomes secretary; When he has money, his secretary becomes wife. Man O Man! — Irfan Khan Copy Share Image
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece: Gently aging, but still a warmand desirable place to visit. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm pretty sure my grandmom watches over me whenever I masturbate. The sound of that walker is so unbearable. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My daughter said she's gonna be a hoe for Halloween. I think it's cute that she likes gardening. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It doesn't bother me that you don't like me, what bothers me is that you are hypocritical and PRETEND to like me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you see me smiling it's because I'm thinking of doing something evil or naughty. If you see me laughing it's because… — Emalie Newhall Copy Share Image
How girls put on their pants: *Left leg*, *Right leg* *Wiggle* *Wiggle* *Jump* *Jump* *Squat* *Stretch* Done… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
This is not Facebook, what book? Slutbook? They need to call this Fuckbook. Picture looking good, but in person... Yuckbook. Hellbook, Tellbook,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
On the 12th day of Christmas, my Facebook gave too me, 12 stupid bitches, 11 fake people, 10 FB hackings, 9 new… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The past can haunt you, but so can ghosts. The future can be unpredictable, but so can the stock market. So the… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
What I thought from my facebook fans would be,'Thumbs up admin,you are doing a great job'. but I find it to be,'Hallo… — Jamsta E Ngugz Copy Share Image
Someone died of a brain aneurysm today while taking a standardized test. The last thing anyone saw him do was stand up,… — James Copy Share Image
A man yells at his wife "pack your bags, honey, I just won the lottery." "Oh wonderful!" she says, "should I pack… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I like when I ask a person to please have a seat and they point to the only other chair in the… — Nicole Hill Copy Share Image
You delete someone off your Facebook because they never talk to you, never comment or like your status and everything, they just… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
