I wanna go to seaworld With a fishing pole just to see what peoples reactions would be — Carlin Whisler Fish Copy Share Image
I've heard more coherent things out of a schizophrenic with threats — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
I hate when they use fake dinosaurs in movies.. I can always tell... — Carlin Whisler Dinosaurs Copy Share Image
That's more messed up than that time I made out with that hobo.. — Carlin Whisler Funny quote Copy Share Image
Why did Princes Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing her seatbelt. — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
You just think you got game because You slept with your high school teacher.. but I won't bother to bring up the… — Carlin Whisler Funny quote Copy Share Image
I like to put things back where I got them from when I am done using them...so I dropped your mom off… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
I could eat a whole bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a more coherent statement than that. — Carlin Whisler Alphabet soup Copy Share Image
Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
Mathematics is always going to lead you to a higher truth. never memorize yourself with the weaker assumptions of lesser morals — Carlin Whisler Life Copy Share Image
A man walks up to a woman in the bar and says, you're gonna get laid tonight. quite surprised, she replies are… — Carlin Whisler Funny quote Copy Share Image
As you will find in multivariabe calculus, there's aften a number of solutions for any given problem. — Carlin Whisler Calculus Copy Share Image
If the beauty behind your eyes were the sun the world would have a lot more to look forward to — Carlin Whisler Beauty Copy Share Image
I have spent my entire life Like it was my rear view mirror my car. And every once in awhile, I always… — Carlin Whisler Entire life Copy Share Image
Personally I think the reason y Jesus heals cripples is because heaven isn't wheelchair accessible. That shit was built way before wheelchairs.… — Carlin Whisler Best friend Copy Share Image
I have a problem when it comes to old people, trying to kick my ass.. for doing that thing where I'm on… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
My goal this year is to buy a prius so I can be the anti prius driver. Be like, yeaaaah, that's my… — Carlin Whisler Funny quote Copy Share Image
I wish I was a camera so I could take your picture with my mind. Put it in a frame for you… — Carlin Whisler Beauty Copy Share Image
I think the best way I could ever have had it put... is if somebody breaks your heart.. punch them in the… — Carlin Whisler Being hurt by someone you love Copy Share Image
It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt… — Carlin Whisler Fool Copy Share Image
This hole thing with the hurricane flooding New York City and taking out 90% of Jersey Shore.. yeah it's sad.. kinda.. but… — Carlin Whisler Bright side Copy Share Image
Over the years I've come to understand a few things.. Happiness and strength endure only in the absence of hate. To hate… — Carlin Whisler Happiness Copy Share Image
Never underestimate the power of your actions.With one small gesture you can change a person's life.For better or for worse.God puts us… — Carlin Whisler Appreciate life Copy Share Image
LI understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
God always has something for you, a key for every problem, They're still a light for every shadow, a relief for every… — Carlin Whisler Appreciate life Copy Share Image
So many people take for granted the gifts they have in life...and go throughout life with such a narrow & short sighted… — Carlin Whisler Acceptance Copy Share Image
My doctor was checking my balls for lumps the other day, I think it got awkward when I ran my fingers through… — Carlin Whisler Doctor Copy Share Image
Did you put your makeup on with a paint brush? or does your face always look like it was gang banged by… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away. I wrote your name in the sand, but the… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave??? The microwave doesn't brown your sausage — Carlin Whisler Food Copy Share Image
