John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If her husband walks in while you're fucking her... ask him to join. You're already fucked anyways... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If someone stole your tweet just write 50 more tweets or have them murdered. Simple. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I would never mind being in an odd abusive relationship, if my girlfriend would punch me with her tits. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Astronaut restaurant review from the moon: The food is fine but there's not much atmosphere. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have an impersonal trainer. We meet at the gym, we dont talk, he works out alone, and I go home. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, A situation -- when it is true, does not mean gazing into each other's eyes, but looking outward together in the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have always considered myself an expert on women's liberation . In the last fifteen years ,I have given two their freedom myself. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you love someone so much you're waiting for them, you're noble. If you're making someone who loves you wait for you,… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I love helping people getting what they want. Today I overheard a girl saying I'd die for spicy mc burger so I… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you send me abusive mentions, I will star it & then retweet your tweets to show you how my twitter life… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Had a virtual friend once. But all he did was tweeting all day. Also, his name was Virtual Friend. Man, what was… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Told my mom, I can become the next Hitler if I drop out of school. She laughed hysterically for 2 hours. I'm… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
