Woman say:I'M JUST GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS. Woman means:We're gonna get sloppy and make fun of you and your friends. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Hitman: The one who kills people for money. Hitwoman: The one who doesn't know when to shut the fuck up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Yest I climbed up a tree & read out a bird some of my tweets. She looked at me, shook her head… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power - like God must feel when he's holding… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A girl asks you what you need. The woman knows and gives you what you want. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, SMART, A man who buys his wife such fine china that she will never trust him to do the dishes; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Woman say:I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? Woman means:I can't believe you have nothing planned! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I started pooping 10 times a day because it's where I come up with my best tweets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I think I might vote for Barack Obama. Because I live in New York City and have been giving black guys change… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Here's my idea for another one of those reality-based TV shows: No Survivors! One by one, a psychopathic serial killer tracks down… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my fav cake for me, and I learned that the little things… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you say you're in a bad place, and everything is coming your way, then chances are you're a woman, and you're… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When friends at work ask me to hang out I tell them I'm busy at home and friends at home that I'm… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If a guy tells you he's not ready for a relationship, it's ok to give him time. Just not any of yours...he's… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
