Pick-Up Line: That blouse looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
KISSING, While, medically, it may not spread infection -- it sure lowers a girl's resistance; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Million dollar idea: A smart phone that doesn't receive phone calls. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have learned there is little difference in husbands; you might as well keep the first. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Every father thinks that his son is an idiot, but only my dad is right. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Yesterday, I came home early from work and found my Girlfriend cheating. The lazy bitch has hired a maid for cooking. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I'll see a girl jogging that's so sexy, I'll jog directly behind her ass until she gets home. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you can't say goodbye to your past, then you just can't say hello to your future. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Site Engineer is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've never felt this way about anyone before. - Every girl, literally every time they like a guy — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Griddle cakes, pancakes, hotcakes, flapjacks: why are there four names for grilled batter and only one word for love? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Animal testing is a terrible idea. They get nervous and give the wrong answers. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know what's fun? Go to a German restaurant and insist on using chopsticks. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Doctor: A person who kills your disease with pills and you with bills. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Tears running down my face like rain, who would have ever thought that love would come with so much pain. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
She: Do You Think Im Fat Now.? Me: No Baby, You Have Just Become My Teddy Bearfrom A Barbie Doll..!! ¥ — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Instagram and nightclubs are where ugly people go to trick people into thinking they're hot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you're going to act like a pussy, you should at least dress like one... Here I bought you the smallest dildo… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Women over 200 pounds with a visible thong should have to register as sex offenders. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
