I'm bored. Maybe I should leave the house and check twitter from somewhere else. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
He had occasional flashes of silence, that made his conversation perfectly delightful. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
No matter how good she looks, Some other guy is sick and tired Of putting up with her shit. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more fucked up than you think. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Husbands are like guns ... keep one around for long enough and you're gonna want to shoot it! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I read the newspaper every day just to see if there's anyone I know in the obituaries or the underwear ads. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you mess up a guy's hair, he thinks it's cute. But when you mess up a GIRL'S hair... I hope you… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's not a day that don't go by that I don't thank God for waking me up to enjoy life and appreciate… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The NFL is boring, the NBA is disintegrating, baseball is totally predictable. Maybe we do need the XFL. Maybe we need Nude… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
On his daughter's diaper: There was so much poop. It didn't look like a baby's poop. It looked like a 55-year-old alcoholic… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I miss you when I'm not with you. When I'm not with you all I do is think about you. When I… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I asked my mom, 'How old were you when I was born?' My mom replied, '23' Me: 'Wow, that's a lot of… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Police arrested 2 youths yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one & let the other off. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The ones that learn by reading…… The few who learn by observation….. The rest of them have to pee on the electric… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
