Everyones middle name should be, motherfuckin...try it. Doesn't it sound so great? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Wanna come over to MySpace and Twitter my Yahoo till I Google all over your Facebook? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate how spiders just sit there on the walls and act like they pay rent... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Looks like Facebook and myspace got divorced but Facebook got the all the kids :) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Im not saying I hate you. Im just saying if you got his by a bus, I would be driving that bus.:) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't Consider Yourself an ugly person,consider yourself a beautiful monkey. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I told my daughter that she can't have boyfriend till her age is off the clock. *puts military clock on wall* — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In the past, when you were angry with someone you fought them. Now you just delete them off Facebook. That'll teach 'em… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I refuse to go bungee jumping, I came into this world because of a broken rubber, I'm not leaving because of one. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow but sure!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are three things human absolutely cannot do in this world . 1. Counting their hair . 2. Speaking during swallowing 3.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I will complain about my privacy being invaded by the government right after I update my dating profile to attract strangers on… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I've been chewing for decades, how did I manage to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've never been in love before...But I can imagine its similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They should start naming hurricanes after ghetto names, cause wouldn't you be scared of a hurricane Sha'Nay Nay. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
White people: 'OMG! I LOVE THIS SONG!' Black people: 'OH HELL YEAH NIGGA THIS IS MY SHIT!' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If your shorts look like they're being eaten by your butt, they're not meant for you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why do people feel stronger on Saturdays and Sundays? because all other days are Weak days!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not sure how people get eaten by sharks...I mean how do you not hear the music? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes I like to glew my thumbs to my nipples and pretend I'm a T-rex. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you're Talking behind my back that just means my life is obviously more interesting than yours. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you see a guy opening a car door for a girl, it's either a new car...or a new girl! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The grass is greener on the other side, because that's where the dog has been shitting. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes when my internet is down I forget the rest of my computer still works… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always write 'Wake Up' on my To-Do-List so I can at least accomplish one thing a day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Self-Checkout lanes were invented by a guy who was sent out to buy tampons. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear guy on the dance floor 'Raising the roof,' you're not raising your chances of getting laid. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm gonna cross 3/4 of the street, then turn around and go back for no fucking reason. -Squirrels — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teen pregnancy will be at a all time low due to the releasing of Black Ops 2 & Halo 4. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teens in horror movies are so stupid you could strangle them dumbasses with a cordless phone — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
