“The fantasy bond is an illusion of connectedness that the child creates in relation to the primary caregiver, who is shaming her. Paradoxically, the more a child is violated, the more she creates the fantasy bond. Bonding to abuse is… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“The fantasy bond (really bondage) is the illusion that someone is there for them, someone who loves and protects them. The fantasy bond is like a mirage in the desert. Once set up, the denying fantasy bond functions automatically and… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
Recovery begins with embracing our pain and taking the risk to share it with others. We do this by joining a group and talking… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“Generally speaking, most of our vital, spontaneous, instinctual life gets shamed. Children are shamed for being too rambunctious, for wanting things and for laughing… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“A covert kind of sexual abuse occurs when Dad or Mom talk about sex in front of the children when the age level of… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
I know from my own clinical work that when people are beaten and hurt, they numb out so that they cant feel anymore. — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“Love-that which biologists, nervous about being misunderstood call "attachment"-fuels the bond between dog and master or mistress.” — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“(b) Boundary Violation. This involves children witnessing parents in sexual behavior. They may walk in on it because parents don’t provide closed or locked… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“A toxically shamed person is divided within himself and must create a false-self cover-up to hide his sense of being flawed and defective. You… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
I define a 'good person' as somebody who is fully conscious of their own limitations. They know their strengths, but they also know their… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“The ego defense of conversion transforms developmental needs into the need for something else. This could be food, money or excessive attention. In Max’s… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“In fact, the most paradoxical aspect of neurotic shame is that it is the core motivator of the superachieved and the underachieved, the star… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“If our primary caregivers are shame-based, they will act shameless and pass their toxic shame onto us. There is no way to teach self-value… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
