“First, let’s talk a little human psychology. In basic terms, people’s emotions have two levels: the “presenting” behavior is the part above the surface you can see and hear; beneath, the “underlying” feeling is what motivates the behavior. Imagine a… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“Most of the time, you should be using the positive/playful voice. It’s the voice of an easygoing, good-natured person. Your attitude is light and… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“By repeating back what people say, you trigger this mirroring instinct and your counterpart will inevitably elaborate on what was just said and sustain… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“Every case is new. We must let what we know - our known knowns - guide us but not blind us to what we do not know; we must remain flexible and adaptable to any situation; we must always retain a beginner's mind; and we must never overvalue our experience or undervalue the informational and emotional realities served up moment… — Chris Voss Copy Share
“The Downs hijacking case came to epitomize everything not to do in a crisis situation, and inspired the development of today’s theories, training, and… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“In any interaction, it pleases us to feel that the other side is listening and acknowledging our situation. Whether you are negotiating a business… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“Here are some other great standbys that I use in almost every negotiation, depending on the situation: What about this is important to you? How can I help to make this better for us? How would you like me to proceed? What is it that brought us into this situation? How can we solve this problem? What’s the objective? /… — Chris Voss Copy Share
“If I just ask for a volunteer, my students sit on their hands and look away. You’ve been there. You can almost feel your back muscles tense as you think, Oh please, don’t call on me. So I don’t ask. Instead, I say, “In case you’re worried about volunteering to role-play with me in front of the class, I want… — Chris Voss Copy Share
“when you phrase a label as a neutral statement of understanding, it encourages your counterpart to be responsive. They’ll usually give a longer answer… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“There are essentially three voice tones available to negotiators: the late-night FM DJ voice, the positive/playful voice, and the direct or assertive voice. Forget the assertive voice for now; except in very rare circumstances, using it is like slapping yourself in the face while you’re trying to make progress. You’re signaling dominance onto your counterpart, who will either aggressively, or… — Chris Voss Copy Share
“Instead of addressing his grumpy behavior, you acknowledge his sadness in a nonjudgmental way. You head him off before he can really get started. “We don’t see each other all that often,” you could say. “It seems like you feel like we don’t pay any attention to you and you only see us once a year, so why should you… — Chris Voss Copy Share
“Notice we said 'It sounds like . . .' and not 'I'm hearing that . . .' That's because the word 'I' gets people's… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“What were needed were simple psychological tactics and strategies that worked in the field to calm people down, establish rapport, gain trust, elicit the… — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
