Sometimes I want to sit on my right hand so it feels like someone else is stopping me from masturbating. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The power of Bernie Sanders was not only in his email list. The centers of power were local groups that formed on… — Saikat Chakrabarti Copy Share Image
I got a teenage daughter and a menopausal wife. One's getting breasts, one's getting whiskers. My life is over. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Every since it started snowing, my little brother has been looking through the window, guess it's high time I let him inside — Avalon Copy Share Image
Sometimes I write the song lyrics on facebook and say singing so that people won't notice that I'm actualy not singing but… — Simphiwe Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is best assured when, instead of looking at each other, the two look out in the same direction; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Facebook, Twitter and Google have all opened offices in Brazil, recognizing the importance of localizing their products and customer service efforts. — Ryan Holmes Copy Share Image
If you're a person who says Only God can judge me on a regular basis, people are actually judging you a lot… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Since social media arrived social skills have declined. Fake became real and narcissists thrive!” — Sanjo Jendayi Copy Share Image
I think I've discovered the secret of life. You just hang around till you get used to it. — Charles Schulz Copy Share Image
Before Google, and long before Facebook, Bezos had realized that the greatest value of an online company lay in the consumer data… — George Packer Copy Share Image
I never knew you could offend someone by masturbating. This couple just opened their closet and they look really pissed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I didn't know what Facebook was, and now that I do know what it is, I have to say, it sounds like… — Betty White Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the TELEPHONE GUY says, Would you like it On the table or against the wall? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
BUREAUCRACY You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Facebook's position with rival tech companies boils down to this: if you want access to all the information we've collected, strike a… — Daniel Lyons Copy Share Image
Prom culture is now painstakingly documented on sites such as Instagram and Facebook, exacerbating the angst of the uninvited. — Rachel Simmons Copy Share Image
Do not, no matter how much peers may pressure you, allow anyone to get to third base with you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Think; we have imaginary farms, cities, and animals. It is okay to poke people and write on walls. Facebook is a mental… — Azgraybebly Joslan Copy Share Image
I was lucky to become a Facebook board member in late 2008. Restricted stock units granted me at the time have increased… — Donald E. Graham Copy Share Image
I never know how to respond to "What's good?" Life? Everything? Cupcakes & rainbows & puppies? What is the appropriate answer? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I didnt know if you like people pictures you gotta be f***in with them, smh people take fb way too serious, but… — Tony G Copy Share Image
These people are harassing me badly, they said they'll cut…… if I don't pay my phone bill on time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“While you were busy trying to prove God stands behind you, God was before me lighting the trail, so he could lead… — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
A relationship with God is the most important relationship you can have. Trust him and everything will always turn out fine. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Is a book in which the first chapter is written in poetry and the rest of the book is prose; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Why do so many females look better on Facebook and Instagram than in person? Answer: Photo Editing -Just Saying — Ephrem Hardin Copy Share Image
I'm still in my first marriage. I know, it's wrong to talk about it so temporary like that. My current husband hates… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When your girlfriend has Taylor Swift lyrics as her status. Either you've done something very right or very wrong. — Idunno Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the BANKER says, If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
We might enjoy essays, TED talks, and even Facebook posts bemoaning our dependency on tech, but judging by our enthusiastic adoption of… — Steven Levy Copy Share Image
When your life changes and there's nothing you can do about it. Have the courage to build a new life; I did,… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
You Are A Liar When You Update A Status And Say Your Not On Facebook For Likes And Comment. Then Why Are… — Sabelo Lan Mashabela Copy Share Image
Cocks are a lot like ovens. You would rather a woman was operating it but sometimes you have to use it yourself. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dont base your decisions on the advice of people who dont have to deal with the results. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
God gave us the miracle of life - sustaining water, & we turned it into Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi & Vodka. Good job, Morons. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Think of everything in Seattle - Microsoft, Amazon, Starbucks. Then you go down to Silicon Valley - Intel, Apple, Google, Facebook, Twitter.… — Nicolas Berggruen Copy Share Image
“Republicans: 'we fought the good fight' - yeah, it woulda been worth it if we could have prevented just one poor kid… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
CORPORATE You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows, then act surprised when… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
