Facebook Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 25

My Girlfriend just said that I should stop acting like an year old. I almost choked on her boobs.

— Nikhil Saluja

It's hard for me to say I love you because the word you isn't beer or sex or football.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A word which always means commitment -- but so does insanity;

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is achieved when silence between two people is comfortable;

— Nikhil Saluja

STOREROOM: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, TRADITIONAL, A man who expects his wife to help him with the dishes

— Nikhil Saluja

When getting divorced remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.

— Nikhil Saluja

I dont own any stocks or bonds. All my money is tied up in debt.

— Nikhil Saluja

My road to success is blocked by a huge rocks obstacle with a big sign that says 'Twitter.com'

— Nikhil Saluja

When someone says wow you are a pervert , look at them, smile & say it took you this long to figure that out?

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, HENPECKED, A man who is so timid, he is even afraid to talk back to other people's wives

— Nikhil Saluja

NASCAR : The most exciting sport for people who have never seen a fucking freeway.

— Nikhil Saluja

It's funny how everyday seems the same, yet when you look back a lot has changed.

— Nikhil Saluja

PARTNERSHIP, A legal fiction exactly like marriage, but without the major benefits

— Nikhil Saluja

CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

— Nikhil Saluja

We all have have that person in our life, we can't live without.

— Nikhil Saluja

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel: Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice; takes care of business.

— Nikhil Saluja

Behind every Successful Man there is a Woman… Because Women don't run behind Unsuccessful Men!

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is when a female hypochondriac marries a pill;

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, Is just a three-ring circus: engagement, wedding, and suffer;

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A ceremony favoured in England -- it's the only way to beat their cold winters and lack of central heating;

— Nikhil Saluja

I would like to open a restaurant, call it the Marilyn Monroe Café, and put hundreds of pictures of Jeff Goldblum on…

— Nikhil Saluja

Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

— Nikhil Saluja

KISSING, An action that only marriage can transform from a pleasure to a duty

— Nikhil Saluja

I've learned that no matter how much I care,some people are just assholes.

— Nikhil Saluja

The doctor told me not to lift anything heavy for a few weeks... So now I have to sit down when I…

— Nikhil Saluja

You are honorable... when you find your honor is to honor others.

— Nikhil Saluja

WIFE, Someone who is too beautiful for words -- but not for arguments;

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, HENPECKED, A man who always consults his better half instead of his better judgement;

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies, Don't worry - if you haven't found the man of your dreams yet, there's always a vibrator.

— Nikhil Saluja

All women are witches, but if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will probably spare you from black…

— Nikhil Saluja

There's no place like home. Especially when we're talking about The best place to take a shit.

— Nikhil Saluja

It's raining cats and dogs. Well, as long as it doesn't reindeer.

— Nikhil Saluja

GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

— Nikhil Saluja

School: An institute where the child goes to play while the parent goes to pay.

— Nikhil Saluja

There is nothing like love in this world unless you experience it.

— Nikhil Saluja

A sneeze is like a little orgasm. Sometimes it helps to close your eyes and think about your twitter crush.

— Nikhil Saluja

Someone told me I should run for president. Dont you think that weve had enough boobs in the White House?

— Nikhil Saluja

MOVIE STAR, a Hollywood resident who cannot live in the institution of marriage -- but doesn't mind frequent visits

— Nikhil Saluja

The only thing I have learned in thirty years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions like that.

— Nikhil Saluja