“The best sign of a really nice and working relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.” — Hongki Ader Copy Share Image
Some hoes only meet the parents because they gotta walk pass the living room. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know you're on your period when everyone around you has an attitude problem. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There's always that person whom you wish their status was about you. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
Texting me with a signature, just got you added to the block list. Have a nice day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
America hasn't seen lazy yet, wait until McDonalds start delivering. — Jaylon Hillsman Copy Share Image
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men...we spend nine months trying to get out of a vagina, and the rest of our lives trying to get back in. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The only reason I'm not surprised she slept with him is cause her vagina is rated E for everyone! — Lainie Lindgren Copy Share Image
I want a relationship. A real, pure, loving, honest relationship. I'm not lonely or desperate, I'm just ready. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As the tears falls slowly down her face.. she closes her eyes and let her dreams take her to a magical place.. — Nabilah Aabou Hamze Copy Share Image
Im sick and tired of guys thinking tht just because I showed up at a club or a dance or a bar,… — Jenna Marbles Copy Share Image
Well, let's just call them, uh, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr. X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
5% of all hearing loss is a result of sitting in a restaurant next to a table full of women who just… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear William and Kate, If William is 100% royal and Kate is 0% royal, will that make your son the half-blood prince? Sincerely, curious. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
DO NOT expect a 'Bless You' after your 5th sneeze get that shit under fucking control. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As the auto mechanic said to the Scoutmaster whose car horn was broken, Beep repaired. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I must have missed school the day we learned about Abraham Lincoln being a vampire slayer... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Practicing your signature over & over again, just in case one day you become famous. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your phone goes dead in the middle of a interesting conversation... — Lonniedagreat Copy Share Image
Me: I'm finally happy. Life: Oh damn, that can't happen. Let me throw something bad in. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Girls spend hours deciding what to wear, and all guys do is try to picture us naked. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I was kid, werewolves and vampires were scary. Now everyone wants to date them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Walmart usually uses 4 checkouts, unless it's really busy then they use 1. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I said What did I do this time? I really meant What did you catch me doing? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Facebook is free too bad the phone there coming out with is but it isn't. — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
