Ladies: Men wouldn't cheat if you did a little less nagging, and a little more gagging. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes, I wonder how many girls she's texting when it seems too long to receive his reply. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'll never understand why British people lose their accent when they sing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when I'm bored nobody texts me but when I'm busy my phone blows up. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In life, the best moments are those that your camera always failed to capture. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't ever say you're not good enough. If that person can't see how amazing you are, then they're the one who's not… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The best thing that can happen to a couple married for fifty years or more is that they both grow nearsighted together. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wisdom is not facts and repetitions of truth repeated back in a pressurised situation such as in an exam hall. — Alastair Arnott Copy Share Image
The sheep I'm counting keep hitting the fence instead of jumping over it. Either they need to go on a diet, or… — Brii Ann Copy Share Image
I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. Honest, I only meant to rough him up a bit. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
People don't want to hear the news anymore; they more worry about celebrity scandal, gossip. The news doesn't have to be truthful… — Emanuel Sebastiao Copy Share Image
Girls make there Facebook status Single and talking to noone. like thats something to be proud of, like no being in a… — Amanda Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Admit it, at some point in time you've tried to see if you had superpowers. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If everyone likes you, you're doing something wrong. Popularity is overrated. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I tell stories about people I dislike, I give them ridiculous voices. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
God gave you two hands, and you use them both to like my post. I can respect that — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A friend would hurt you, but a best friend would kick their ass if they hurt you. — OhItsVynn Copy Share Image
Prefix: What a man does just before his wife calls the plumber. Or electrician, mechanic ... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That dirty look you give the sidewalk when you turn around after you trip over it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Expectoration: If you go to a political rally, you should EXPECTORATION. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I can't tell if you have a better life than me, or better photo filters. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whenever I talk with someone who stutters...I yell 'REMIX!' so they feel cool and shit. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm the only man who has a marriage license made out To Whom It My Concern . — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If there was an award for laziness I'd probably send somebody else to pick it up for me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hey you should try to get your whole face in the picture not just your boobs. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't ever regret the things you did wrong. Regret the good things you did to the wrong people. — Danish Copy Share Image
