Facebook status Quotes by Anonymous · Page 14

Makeup and high heels are a plus, but a great smile and personality should be a must.

— Anonymous

'Do not machine wash or tumble dry.' really means I will never wash this ever.

— Anonymous

Calling someone without texting first is the new showing up unannounced.

— Anonymous

Everybody knows somebody who's Facebook relationship status should be 'Still banging my ex.'

— Anonymous

That awkward moment when theres a guy working at Victorias Secret.

— Anonymous

If there must be a trouble let it be in my day, then my children can live in peace.

— Anonymous

How come you never read about a psychic winning the lottery?

— Anonymous

Seeing a 'Do not disturb' sign and automatically assuming people in there are having sex.

— Anonymous

That awkward moment when the teacher says slaves…and everyone looks at that one black kid in the class.

— Anonymous

Adding friends is not a race. 100 friends is ok. 300 is great. But 3000? Unless you are looking for a crowd…

— Anonymous

; The hurtful people I let into my life are the ones who made me the stronger person I am today. For…

— Anonymous

Dont regret your past learn from it because if you regret it then you regret the lessons you learned.

— Anonymous

I don't want a relation where people say,''they look so cute together'' I want a relation where people say,''look how happy they…

— Anonymous

You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.

— Anonymous

Call me a fashion fuckup but I refuse to disregard 1/2 my wardrobe just cause some fool said white wasn't okay after…

— Anonymous

Oh, it's sunny outside. I better update my Facebook status for all of my friends that don't have windows.

— Anonymous

Who else wakes up in the morning and checks their Facebook like its the morning paper?

— Anonymous

Waking up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and avoiding all of the mirrors.

— Anonymous

Uh, excuse me, Mr. Swagger, Either walk a little faster or buy a belt. Thanks, homie.

— Anonymous

I don't just sing the song, I also sing the background music and the guitar solo.

— Anonymous

I dont need a perfect one. I just need someone who can make me feel that Im the only one...:-)

— Anonymous

Facebook is kind of like the matrix if you think about it... fake reality.

— Anonymous

I think I can be a rapper, I'm good at rhymes.. cat, bat, fat, hat, chat…

— Anonymous

Men hate women because we always know where things are.

— Anonymous

Ending a facebook conversation by liking the last comment that was posted.

— Anonymous

I'll drink responsibly when there is a brand of vodka named Responsibly.

— Anonymous

Girls now a days be almost as THIRSTY as some of the guys..

— Anonymous

Yawning is like our bodies way of saying 15% battery left.

— Anonymous

Im in the backyard painting a big blue square so google earth thinks I have a swimming pool.

— Anonymous

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you need to keep moving.

— Anonymous

Facebook needs a Drama of the day section in my news feed.

— Anonymous

I'd like to shake the man's hand who first thought about putting chocolate syrup in milk.

— Anonymous

Ladies; at least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture there.

— Anonymous

There's nothing more comfortable than sleeping while someone else gets ready for work.

— Anonymous

That moment when you think someone is ignoring you when in reality you just didn't press send.

— Anonymous

Saying something stupid and thinking, 'Yeah, that sounded way better in my head.'

— Anonymous

You hate your life? Go post on Facebook about it, that'll help.

— Anonymous

Hey Subway, just make everything 5 dollars forever and shut the hell up.

— Anonymous

To all those who said I couldn't make jokes about blind people...watch me.

— Anonymous

Dear sidewalk, Please get wider...Sincerely, third friend walking behind feeling excluded.

— Anonymous