Facebook status Quotes by Anonymous · Page 16

It's 2012 and we still don't have a toothpaste that doesn't ruin orange juice.

— Anonymous

Pressing the elevator button more than once thinking it will come faster.

— Anonymous

If you have a problem, face it, don't Facebook it.

— Anonymous

I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.

— Anonymous

Those who seek growth, embrace life and learn from the journey.

— Anonymous

No matter how funny you are, if I don't like you I wont laugh.

— Anonymous

Showers: I never want to get in and I never want to get out.

— Anonymous

OH NICE, so you can update your status via mobile, but you cant text me back?

— Anonymous

That awkward moment when your parents bring up the topic of sex and you just sit there all innocent like, 'Wait, whats…

— Anonymous

Admit it, at least once in your life you shoved a ball up your shirt and pretended you were pregnant.

— Anonymous

4 Rules for texting a girl: 1) Don't take 40 minutes to reply. 2) Use good grammar. 3) Ask Questions. 4) Always use the smiley face

— Anonymous

Believe it or not, everybody has their problems, some of us just prefer not to discuss them on Facebook.

— Anonymous

When we are bored we get on Facebook, then we get bored on Facebook so we get off then 15 min later…

— Anonymous

Lucky is the man who wins the first love of a woman But luckier is the woman who wins the last love…

— Anonymous

I want a relationship. A real, pure, loving, honest relationship. I'm not lonely or desperate, I'm just ready.

— Anonymous

Dear William and Kate, If William is 100% royal and Kate is 0% royal, will that make your son the half-blood prince? Sincerely, curious.

— Anonymous

Ever notice when your eating cereal, the back of the box suddenly becomes super interesting?

— Anonymous

That stressful car ride home from McDonalds when you have to hold the drinks on your lap.

— Anonymous

Its amazing how crazy I feel when my phone vibrates and Im begging it to be you.

— Anonymous

Thank goodness pets cant talk, they all know too much.

— Anonymous

I laugh even harder when I try to explain why I'm laughing.

— Anonymous

If facebook was a job, we'll all end up with fat paychecks

— Anonymous

That moment of shame when you walk up to an automatic door and it doesnt open for you.

— Anonymous

Sitting at a movie theater & saying 'I wanna see that!' to every trailer.

— Anonymous

People are like trees..they take forever to grow..

— Anonymous

Bad Girls Club is like a car wreck..its terrible but you just can't turn away.

— Anonymous

The awkward moment when you catch yourself singing a song that you're supposed to hate.

— Anonymous

Congratulations on buying a car that will go 0-60 in 5 seconds whether you want it to or not.

— Anonymous

When they ask me what I liked best, I'll tell them it was you.

— Anonymous

Swimming: 5% Swimming. 95% just doing flips and handstands in the water.

— Anonymous

Hearing a camera shutter noise in a public bathroom can never be for anything normal.

— Anonymous

We Have Smart Car's, And Smart Phones, All We Need Is Smart People.

— Anonymous

I think bathrooms should be soundproof so we can sing as loudly as we want to.

— Anonymous

I hate it when I'm taking a drink and all the ice attacks my face.

— Anonymous

The strongest people you know are the ones who need a hug most… Give a hug.

— Anonymous

Trying to accomplish a task before the microwave hits 0 like your life depends on it.

— Anonymous

That awkward moment when your hand touches someone's ass by mistake.

— Anonymous

I get super paranoid whenever I walk into a store with something that they sell there...

— Anonymous

At the end of the day before you sleep, Life should ask you: 'Do you want to save changes?'

— Anonymous

I secretly like days when none of my Facebook friends have birthdays.

— Anonymous