“... If God invented anything better than drunk sex with a hot girl, he kept it to himself.” — Tucker Max Copy Share Image
Sorry you get too drunk every weekend to ever get a cute new profile picture. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'd give all the champagne I've ever drunk to be playing alongside him in a big European match at Old Trafford. — George Best Copy Share Image
Two types of people that annoy me: Drunk people when I'm sober. Sober people when I'm drunk. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't know who Keyser Soze is, but whoever he is, he is going to get gloriously drunk tonight. — Kevin Spacey Copy Share Image
Neoliberalism has left Britain's boss classes drunk on triumphalism, paying themselves record salaries and bonuses while their workers are imprisoned by poverty… — Owen Jones Copy Share Image
There's the really angry drunk, who's just annoying to be around. I prefer the drunk who falls all over the place and… — Aaron Paul Copy Share Image
I couldn't live without tea. I have two cups in the morning, one at lunch, two in the afternoon and one in… — Gilbert O'Sullivan Copy Share Image
I'm not raging drunk when I play. I just like to relax. Sometimes I stop and I tell people "I'm sorry, I'm… — Chuck Mosley Copy Share Image
And patience flees my heart, And reason flees my mind. Oh, how drunk can I get to be, Without your love's security? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Cut me own throat had drifted off and was doing business with those late night revelers who were too drunk to prevent… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
The thing that I think a lot of guys need to know how to do is not take your mother's advice about… — Adam DeVine Copy Share Image
I work for a few at home who are devoted. People who are up now. Either they have some sort of bladder… — Greg Proops Copy Share Image
There are a lot of college writing textbooks that will include essays and short stories, and after reading the story or essay,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Go ahead and burn it down I'm drunk and so is everyone else In this devil town They wont let me turn… — 3OH!3 Copy Share Image
“ON GETTING DRUNK: "Those who are Christians are to see to it that they are grateful for grace and redemption and conduct… — Martin Luther Copy Share Image
There is little that can be said about most economic goods. A toothbrush does little but clean teeth. Aspirin does little but… — John Kenneth Galbraith Copy Share Image
There's a Drunk Midget in My House Ah, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
“I remember no syllable of them now, but the other, more ancient lore which I acquired that term will be with me… — Evelyn Waugh Copy Share Image
After all why should our goal be the reinstatement of an illusory 'exact' relationship between events and words? If you probe in… — M. John Harrison Copy Share Image
Drunk text me. text me when the music is loud and there are girls dancing around you and youre not quite coherent… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Officer to drunk boy : How high are you? Drunk Boy: No officer, its Hi! How are you? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I am drunk on his desire for me. My legs wrap around tightly around his waist.” — K.C. Martin Copy Share Image
The only reason people go to bars is to get drunk and have sex. To me, bars are what hell is like. — Clay Aiken Copy Share Image
“When a man gets drunk he gets sentimental. That's what I wanted to avoid.” — Jean-Paul Sartre Copy Share Image
Whenever I get sick, I get my immune system drunk so it will fight anything. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“Dear 2600: Please forgive my last email to your magazine. I was drunk at the time.” — Emmanuel Goldstein Copy Share Image
I used to think if I didn't have a drink it was going to be a rubbish night, so I'd drink purely… — Megan McKenna Copy Share Image
If you love her, let her go out drinking with her friends. If she drunk dials you, she is yours — Pretty Ladii Copy Share Image
I can be drunk until 6 in the morning, and then I don't have to show up to work until 14 hours later. — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
More people die on a per mile basis from drunk walking than from drunk driving. — A. J. Jacobs Copy Share Image
So what we get drunk so what we smoke weed. That's how it's suppose to be, living young wild and free! — Wiz Khalifa Copy Share Image
“a drunk did not expect the bottle to love him back,and she only wished to drink him in whenever she could.” — Sherry Thomas Copy Share Image
