When you do stand-up, it's so autonomous: I can say anything. — Pete Holmes Anything Copy Share Image
The idea of saying 'the handsome Pete Holmes' is preposterous. — Pete Holmes Handsome Copy Share Image
It's hard to control the things that are going to inspire you. — Pete Holmes Control Copy Share Image
I hate when pastors have a gay son and then they become pro-gay. — Pete Holmes Become Copy Share Image
Joy is in learning to say yes to what is and to surrender into flow with what is, even when it's what… — Pete Holmes Even Copy Share Image
When I grew up, my model of God was like a lifeguard: I knew He loved me, but He blew his whistle… — Pete Holmes God Copy Share Image
I mostly do faces and sounds. That's what I do. Comedy doesn't have to be art. — Pete Holmes Art Copy Share Image
I knew I wanted a 'Girls'-type show about my life, but what's the big thing that happened to me? Oh, I got… — Pete Holmes Big Copy Share Image
Science would like to tell us that people laugh because of the benign violation theory, but comedy doesn't have hard rules. — Pete Holmes Comedy Copy Share Image
I wanted to be a pastor. I was going to be a youth pastor. I mean, I play guitar; I like to… — Pete Holmes Guitar Copy Share Image
When I was in junior high, I went to a really hippy dippy Quaker school where we called our teachers by their… — Pete Holmes First Copy Share Image
When somebody comes across as authentic and genuine and sweet, people just want to spend time with that person. — Pete Holmes Authentic Copy Share Image
When I started, I was very deliberate about making friends with people like John Mulaney who were really funny and wanted to… — Pete Holmes Comedy Copy Share Image
Whenever I make a blasphemous joke, I always say that I believe in a God big enough to know that I'm just… — Pete Holmes Believe Copy Share Image
In real life, T. J. Miller is one of my best friends, and I'll maybe see him for two or three days… — Pete Holmes Best Copy Share Image
The skill set of pastor and comedian are incredibly similar. You want to affect people. You're good at reading rooms. You're persuasive,… — Pete Holmes Comedian Copy Share Image
Religion often is very embarrassing, and I totally get it. So I am sort of sometimes burdened with the fact that I… — Pete Holmes I am Copy Share Image
It's true that in show business, a lot of times a producer will just not ever be there, not even be aware… — Pete Holmes Business Copy Share Image
It's funny - the reason I started doing a podcast was because every time I was on someone else's podcast, I would… — Pete Holmes Funny Copy Share Image
Traffic: Sit there. Sit. Occasionally move your foot from the brake and crawl forward, then put it back. That's all you do… — Pete Holmes Back Copy Share Image
The beautiful thing about stand-up advice is that it applies to anybody, any gender, any race, any age. The best thing you… — Pete Holmes Advice Copy Share Image
I'm trying to manufacture a sleepover feel; like a tree house or a clubhouse. I want people to be silly and play… — Pete Holmes Being silly Copy Share Image
I remember talking to comedian Jimmy Pardo about his experience waiting to hear about his own pilot, and we both agreed on… — Pete Holmes Control Copy Share Image
What I don't think I knew when I was young was that 'losing your faith' is actually part of the plan for… — Pete Holmes Beautiful Copy Share Image
When it comes to being called a pronoun, sometimes I like to call other people 'me.' I go, like, 'Oh, these mes… — Pete Holmes Change Copy Share Image
I can't speak for everybody. But I will say that for me, when I've been depressed - and I get depressed. I… — Pete Holmes Anxiety Copy Share Image
We can give space to someone's depression. We can love them; we can honor - we can just eat some noodles, we… — Pete Holmes Depression Copy Share Image
I'm not going to have the TV personality and be like, 'There's no bitterness. There's no ugliness.' There's bitterness. There's ugliness. There's… — Pete Holmes Anger Copy Share Image
