If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Why is it that we will laugh at a man in a clown outfit, but we won't laugh at a man just… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Great love isn't two people finding the perfect match in one another. Great love is two people making the choice to be… — Lysa TerKeurst Copy Share Image
“Just walk through him," I said, still deep in thought. "and if you ever wanted to know how a moose works, just… — Jasper Fforde Copy Share Image
Power is only vouchsafed to the man who dares to stoop and pick it up. There is only one thing, one thing… — Fyodor Dostoevsky Copy Share Image
Extroverts are energized by social interaction. I'm often exhausted by it. I am someone who needs personal time for deep thought and… — Ritchie Torres Copy Share Image
When you go to a party at somebody's house, don't automatically assume that the drinks are free. Ask, and ask often. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
If everyone could see the image of God in his neighbor, do you think we should still need tanks and generals? — Mother Teresa Copy Share Image
I have many deep thoughts in God, but I take my own measure, lest I perish by boasting... For I myself, though… — Ignatius of Antioch Copy Share Image
To me, truth is not some vague, foggy notion. Truth is real. And, at the same time, unreal. Fiction and fact and… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
At our most elemental, we are not a chemical reaction, but an energetic charge. Human beings and all living things are a… — Lynne McTaggart Copy Share Image
Sometimes I wish Marta were more loyal to me. Like the other day. The car parked next to ours had a real… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
In the desert you become a discoverer. You discover your soul, which had been submerged in vain pursuits, which had been lost… — Ameen Rihani Copy Share Image
We need to practice acting in spite of fear, in spite of doubt, in spite of worry, in spite of uncertainty, in… — T. Harv Eker Copy Share Image
If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Healthy breaks can hit the reset button in your brain, restoring some of the glucose and other metabolic nutrients used up with… — Daniel Levitin Copy Share Image
You can't teach people everything they need to know. The best you can do is position them where they can find what… — Seymour Papert Copy Share Image
Anytime destruction of another is needed in order to advance one's own aims or goals, then the goals need to be reevaluated. — David White Copy Share Image
Not all thinking and all emotion are of the ego. They turn into ego only when you identify with them and they… — Eckhart Tolle Copy Share Image
Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Deep thoughts (come) from a deep well. Society is useful because when we see ourselves reflected through others we can gain a… — David Jenkins Copy Share Image
One question that's never been answered to my satisfaction by the "Playboy Advisor" is "What kind of stereo system works best in… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
After I die, wherever my spirit goes, I'm going to try to get back and visit my skeleton at least once a… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
If the Vikings were around today, they would probably be amazed at how much glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I don't think there's anything to be afraid of. Failure brings great rewards - in the life of an artist. — Quentin Tarantino Copy Share Image
I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes!… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
The devil told my mind that my thoughts held no power; and this seemed true until my thoughts I began to speak. — Stefanie Schneider Copy Share Image
If you wear a toupee, why not let your friends try it on for a while? Come on, we're not going to… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
My new millionaire idea is one regular shoe and one "swollen" shoe, for when you get bit by a rattlesnake. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Things don't spiral out of control when we surrender them; they spiral out of control when we try to control them! — Marianne Williamson Copy Share Image
You know what would be the most terrifying thing that could ever happen to a flea? Getting caught inside a watch somehow.… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Instead of putting a quarter under a kid's pillow, how about a pinecone? That way, he learns that "wishing" isn't going to… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
When we destroy something crated by man we call it vandalism but when we destroy something by nature we call it progress. — Ed Begley, Jr Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your in super deep thought. Then 3 minutes later you realize you are staring directly at someone. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, wouldn't you think a good costume would be to dress up… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
How come, just as the rocket is launching, the astronauts don't also shoot some fireworks out the window? It would make the… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won't come up with a handful of mud… — Leo Burnett Copy Share Image
If you're pretty happy, but you have a little Chihuahua that's always biting you on the ankles, still that's pretty good isn't… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Martha says the interesting thing about fly fishing is that it's two lives connected by a thin strand. Come on, Martha. Grow… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
