If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are... you have small boobs. — John Vercetti Copy Share Image
When I'm bored on my day off I like to call in sick to places I don't work for.. Today I'm getting written up… — John Vercetti Copy Share Image
If I had a dollar for everytime someone over 40 told me my generation sucks, then I could afford a house in the economy… — John Vercetti Copy Share Image
The ugly truth about being butt hurt is even if you say you're not, it's obvious that you are — John Vercetti Copy Share Image
I have a theory that women don't fart, they hold it in until it comes out as drama. — John Vercetti Copy Share Image
Being a hoe is kinda like being an alcoholic, once you are one you'll always be considered one, you're either a hoe or a… — John Vercetti Copy Share Image
I don't bother with fancy pick up lines. I just say You're gonna get stabbed: do you want metal or meat? — John Vercetti Copy Share Image
Step 1 - Change your Wi-Fi password to blowmefirst. Step 2 - Wait for someone to ask you for it. — John Vercetti Copy Share Image
I saw a girl texting and driving the other day and it really pissed me off, so I rolled down my window and threw… — John Vercetti Copy Share Image
