“Marry an outdoors woman. That way, if you have to throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive.” — W.C. Fields Copy Share Image
“Always smile first thing in the morning. Might as well get it over with.” — W.C. Fields Copy Share Image
“I never hold a grudge. As soon as I get even with the son-of-a bitch, I forget it.” — W.C. Fields Copy Share Image
“Goddamn the whole fucking world and everyone in it except you, Carlotta!” — W.C. Fields Copy Share Image
“Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.” — W.C. Fields Copy Share Image
“Marry an outdoors woman. That way, if you have to throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive.” — W.C. Fields Copy Share Image
“Don't be a luddy-duddy! Don't be a mooncalf! Don't be a jabbernowl! You're not those, are you?” — W.C. Fields Copy Share Image
