“It was the funeral of a woman who had henpecked her husband, driven her kids half nuts, scrapped with the neighbors at the slightest opportunity, and even made neurotics of their cat and dog with her explosive temper. As the… — Various Copy Share Image
“even made neurotics of their cat and dog with her explosive temper. As the casket was lowered into the grave, a violent thunderstorm broke, and the pastor's benediction” — Various Copy Share Image
“TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between” — Various Copy Share Image
“Must the Earth forever be arranged like an ocean steamer, with large, luxurious rooms and luxurious food for a select few, and underneath in… — Various Copy Share Image
“God is worming out His and our adversaries, which He will do by little and little, till they be consumed. The covenant is seasonable.” — Various Copy Share Image
“it is no less since this same Confession of Faith was first subscribed and sworn to. And it has been still in use yearly… — Various Copy Share Image
“sees the Sights, under Perplexing Difficulties. The native borned Gothamite mite have notissed, a short time since, a venerable lookin' ex-Statesman,” — Various Copy Share Image
“What do you call a hundred blondes stacked on top of each other? An air mattress.” — Various Copy Share Image
“Thou wouldst never have chosen Him, if that loving and gracious God had not chosen thee.” — Various Copy Share Image
“Behold, and be awakened; behold, and be excited; behold, and be comforted; behold, and admire; behold, and wonder, that the King of heaven's Son… — Various Copy Share Image
“seal. ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦ A bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes work. ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦ A baseball walks… — Various Copy Share Image
“I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I presume you… — Various Copy Share Image
Craig Jones: We ain't got no sugar. Smokey: No sugar? Damn. Y'all ain't never got two things that match. Either y'all got Kool-aid, no… — Various Copy Share Image
