I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people actually cook that stuff? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think you can talk about anything if the context is correctly arranged. If you set up the context and you bring… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Why do they bother with a suicide watch when someone is on death row? "Keep an eye on this guy. We're gonna… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The highly motivated people in society are the ones causing all the trouble. It's not the lazy unmotivated folks sitting in front… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I like good ideas. I don't want just do something for it's own sake to bother people, but if I can bother… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share
These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people. — George Carlin Copy Share
