Career is like light and girls r like shadow if u try to catch shadow, u will mis d light if u… — Rk Copy Share Image
My life motto is basically to lower your standards and expectations so you're never disappointed and never put any trust in anything,… — Tavi Gevinson Copy Share Image
That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
If you bleach your asshole and add ammonia... would you fart Mustard Gas? ` Asking for a Friend — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Woman say:CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS? Woman means:There is no way I'm going to let any part of your body touch any… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Woman say:I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW. Woman means:I just don't want YOU as a boyfriend now. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The sweetest sounds to mortals given are heard in Mother, Home, and Heaven. — William Goldsmith Brown Copy Share Image
WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan tpye reel Gode. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In my version of volleyball I use my legs and also don't play volleyball. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Berlin is just an affordable European city that's supposed to be cool. There's nothing too deep about it. — Stephen Malkmus Copy Share Image
Admit it. You feel kind of like a badass speeding through those school zones in the morning. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I really can't believe the price some women pay for sunglasses. I'm starting to think it'd be cheaper to get the kitchen… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
To meet, to know, to love, to share then to part is the sad tale of the human heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A tradition which would suffer considerably if men had to pay the minister the same fee they will eventually have to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Police arrested 2 youths yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one & let the other off. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You always have in the back of your mind that would be cool if you get recognized. But you can't concentrate on… — Michael Kiwanuka Copy Share Image
Therapist: you should be in a mental institute Me: I'm already on Twitter — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
