Alcoholics Quotes · Page 5

A school without grades must have been concocted by someone who was drunk on non-alcoholic wine.

— Karl Kraus

only a complete alcoholic can think life is funny ... any life! ...

— Louis-Ferdinand Celine

Once I know I'm an alcoholic then it is my obligation, duty to see what I can do about healing myself.

— Malachy McCourt

Kids who drink alcohol, fairly regularly before they're 14 have a 48% chance... of becoming alcoholics.

— Mariska Hargitay

I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. When it's my birthday, and when it's not my birthday.

— Bill Murray

Seeing is believing to most families who have lived with a drinker.

— Bill W

Nice: meaning I'm going to be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them - to you.

— Raymond Chandler

If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink; but if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a non-alcoholic.

— Mitch Hedberg

I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest:…

— George Carlin

Maybe some folks are alcoholics and others are just voluntary drunks... maybe some have drinking problems, while others have problems enough to…

— George Jones

When people who believe themselves to be addicts or alcoholics come under great stress or trauma, they mentally give themselves permission to…

— Chris Prentiss

My makeup wasn't smeared, I wasn't disheveled, I behaved politely, and I never finished off a bottle, so how could I be…

— Betty Ford

Americans may be drinking fewer alcoholic beverages, but they are certainly eating more of them than ever before. Wittingly or un.

— Marian Burros

Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an…

— Mitch Hedberg

At the time, my 6-year-old kept thinking my character's name was "Sam Alone," which is kind of brilliant. The funny came out…

— Ted Danson

I found the prospect daunting, but somehow comforting, too, because the counselors insisted it could be done, and, after all, many of…

— Craig Ferguson

I repeat that the poor, the sufferers from leprosy, the rejected, the alcoholics, whom we serve, are beautiful people. Many of them…

— Mother Teresa

I've been a makeup artist since I was 12 and it was always a dream of mine back them to have my…

— Jeffree Star

I am not an alcoholic. I'm a social catalyst. People pay me to illustrate for other partygoers the chemical process involved in…

— Josh Kilmer-Purcell

I changed my mind. I don’t want to be an inveshtigative journalist anymore. I want to be a professional rum drinker.” “There…

— Libba Bray

Anxiety is the dizziness we experience when we recognize we hold the freedom and responsibility for our life choices. More than anyone,…

— Peg O'Connor

You are not an alcoholic or an addict. You are not incurably diseased. You have merely become dependent on substances or addictive…

— Chris Prentiss

Our teenage "druggies" are habituated to drugs rather than addicted. While beer and other alcoholic beverages are preferred drugs, kids have simply…

— Virgil Miller Newton

I was like one of those newspapers, those periodicals. There's all different kinds of alcoholics. There's the everyday kind: that's the consistent…

— Van Morrison

And with each step my heart broke for the person I would never find, the person who'd love me. And then I…

— Denis Johnson

Dear lost sinner, if you are a wicked sinner, yet you do not have to die and go to Hell forever. If…

— John R. Rice

As an alcoholic, you will violate your standards quicker than you can lower them.

— Robin Williams

Even prostitutes, alcoholics, embezzlers - I won't rehearse the whole catalogue - need health insurance.

— William Levada

Kids, man, they're way too honest. They're like mini-alcoholics.

— Gabriel Iglesias

That's what alcoholics do. It's in their job description: fall apart and then keep falling apart.

— Audrey Niffenegger

Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either.

— P. J. O'Rourke

I became a terrible drunk or alcoholic - or a good one depending on your point of view.

— Craig Ferguson

And in my mind, this settles the issue. I would never drink cologne, and am therefore not an alcoholic.

— Augusten Burroughs

All writers are egomaniacal, manic-depressive, drug-addicted alcoholics. You want to have that fix again.

— T.C. Boyle

If I hadn't become a celebrity, I'd probably be an alcoholic.

— Paul Lynde

My father was on the Alcoholics Anonymous wishlist. My mother was on... parole. And lithium.

— Christopher Titus

I know I was an alcoholic because I was preoccupied whether alcohol was going to be served or not.

— Betty Ford

My admiration for the phenomenon of Alcoholics Anonymous is boundless.

— Mercedes McCambridge

I suppose if I gave myself the chance I could be an alcoholic.

— Sylvia Plath

I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.

— Chelsea Handler