When a man is tired of Ankh-Morpork, he is tired of…

Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first name is Bad.

— Terry Pratchett

Ankh-Morpork! Pearl of cities! This is not a completely accurate description, of course — it was not round and shiny — but even its…

— Terry Pratchett

Of course, Ankh-Morpork's citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure. Any water that had passed through so many kidneys, they…

— Terry Pratchett

Poets have tried to describe Ankh-Morpork. They have failed. Perhaps it's the sheer zestful vitality of the place, or maybe it's just that a…

— Terry Pratchett

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along…

— Terry Pratchett

I think that sick people in Ankh-Morpork generally go to a vet. It's generally a better bet. There's more pressure on a vet to…

— Terry Pratchett

The point is that descriptive writing is very rarely entirely accurate and during the reign of Olaf Quimby II as Patrician of Ankh-Morpork some…

— Terry Pratchett

Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The…

— Terry Pratchett

It was Carrot who'd suggested to the Patrician that hardened criminals should be given the chance to 'serve the community' by redecorating the homes…

— Terry Pratchett

Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From…

— Terry Pratchett

The people of Ankh-Morpork had a straightforward, no-nonsense approach to entertainment, and while they were looking forward to seeing a dragon slain, they'd be…

— Terry Pratchett

He found that he had this sudden desperate longing for the fuming, smoky streets of Ankh-Morpork, which was always at its best in the…

— Terry Pratchett

Technically, the city of Ankh-Morpork is a Tyranny, which is not always the same thing as a monarchy, and in fact even the post…

— Terry Pratchett

“A number of religions in Ankh-Morpork still practiced human sacrifice, except that they didn't really need to practice any more because they had got…

— Terry Pratchett

And we don't often get any wading birds in the River Ankh, mainly because the pollution would eat their legs away and anyway, it's…

— Terry Pratchett