I once absent-mindedly ordered Three Mile Island dressing…

“This one’s mental.’ ‘Eccentric.’ ‘What’s the difference?’ ‘A bag of cash.”

— Terry Pratchett

“But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I am as…

— Terry Pratchett

“The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door,…

— Terry Pratchett

“Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal. "Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed. "Yes." "One of…

— Terry Pratchett

It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family…

— Terry Pratchett

You can't trust folk songs. They always sneak up on you.

— Terry Pratchett

Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes.

— Terry Pratchett

“Magrat wondered what it was like, spending your whole life doing something you didn’t want to do. Like being dead, she considered, only worse,…

— Terry Pratchett

A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time.

— Terry Pratchett

“There were more old people. The world was full of them,' said the wizard. 'Yes, I know. And now it's full of young people.…

— Terry Pratchett

“Hobson was big and heavyset, but not exactly fat; he was probably what you’d get if you shaved a bear.”

— Terry Pratchett

“There is a night that never comes to an end… The clock of the world turns under its own shadow. Midnight is a moving…

— Terry Pratchett

“You'd like Freedom, Truth, and Justice, wouldn't you, Comrade Sergeant?' said Reg encouragingly. 'I'd like a hard-boiled egg,' said Vimes, shaking the match out.…

— Terry Pratchett

“You are not apprehensive, are you? I can't detect no trace of fear none whatsoever Roomy cranium all possible videos of all possible outcomes…

— Terry Pratchett

Imagination, not intelligence, made us human.

— Terry Pratchett