I’m all about that shit.” Mom shoots me the…

“What about your funeral, eh?” She asks. “You mean the one that is never going to happen ever because I am going to gather…

— Sara Wolf

“Is it? Because that picture of me was taken by my old school's yearbook club, and they put it in the section titled 'STUDENT…

— Sara Wolf

“People like you - you don't find very often. He'll be back." "And when he comes back, I will behead him." I announce. "You'll…

— Sara Wolf

“you, Mr. Bernard,”. “Last time I checked they don’t pay you to ogle teenage girls. They pay you to teach. So start teaching.” Mr.…

— Sara Wolf

“Yvette informs me janitors cannot fly. Vampires, however, can. "Vampires are gross," I determine. "Have you even read Twilight?" "I've read so many things…

— Sara Wolf

“Hogwarts didn't even send me a letter and I haven't actually forgiven them for that. Wait until I go to London and find Platform…

— Sara Wolf

“Ello, love. Fancy a cuppa?" "You're not British, Isis," Naomi says. "I can be things," I insist.”

— Sara Wolf

“It’s okay, buddy!” I shade my eyes and look up at the sky. “Luckily for you, I am both stunningly good-looking and benevolent. I…

— Sara Wolf

“How many shots did you take?” “Fourteen. I let go of the wheel halfway home and Jesus drove me the rest of the way.”…

— Sara Wolf

“I wake up i Satan's butthole.”

— Sara Wolf

“Dying before you pay someone back is just plain rude.”

— Sara Wolf

“Sometimes people need to be messed up. It reminds them life is short.”

— Sara Wolf

“I would love to slap you right now, but I’m currently wielding a nine pound ball and I’m afraid that would be called murder.”

— Sara Wolf

“Snow White! I remember her story. She was the one with the seven stunted humans looking after her. She cooked and cleaned and one…

— Sara Wolf

“It comes true because we're wise, dear.”

— Sara Wolf