I thought I was on the track for something good. And you…

“I despise Wednesdays! They are the Marquis de Sade of the work week. Wednesday are so awful that...wait..what? It's Thurs? (face-palm)”

— L.G.A. McIntyre

“A single day in my own shoe that is comfortable for me is better than 365 days in someone else's shoes that does not…

— Israelmore Ayivor

“Masked by a pair of pink cotton panties, the man looks like some sort of deranged bank robber.”

— Dave Lundy

“Behind every successful man, is a Woman breathing through her mouth”

— Josh Stern

“... she reflects for a moment and then mutters to herself, 'Maybe that shithead’s right? Maybe God does hate Buffalo?”

— Dave Lundy

“Fortunately, most of our vital physiological functions are involuntary, as some amongst us would forget them.”

— Stewart Stafford

“I like to think I'm not stupid often, tonight proves that when I am, I do it in a big way.”

— Lisa Renee Jones

“One day, scientists will overtake LIGHT and crash into the DARKNESS.”

— Paul McDermott

“Answering the question 'How would you like to smell?' by saying 'I'd rather I didn't' is also no longer acceptable. It's not playing the…

— David Mitchell

“Frank: Dude. Bro. I'm not wearing underwear. Is it nippley outside?”

— Ren French

“If you drink anymore, you're going to be positively flammable.”

— Michaela Haze

A stitch in time saves uncontrollable blood loss

— Simon Haynes

“Blake looked around and gulped. He'd forgotten about the mess on the floor. Chamber pot shards, his shaving kit, a towel or two... "I...…

— Julia Quinn

“The table was covered with food like roast chicken, roast potatoes, roast parsnips, roast turkey, roast liquorice and, the centrepiece, a roasted knight.”

— Elias Zapple

“The Wolf snarled, tensing his muscles, as if he wished he could climb the tree after the feline. "One day I will catch you…

— Julie Kagawa