Personal Questions As you move further into the realm of…

““ Personal Questions As you move further into the realm of conversational intimacy, you may be tempted to ask a more personal question. Such questions entail risk that you will offend the other person. Ask them with extreme caution—especially on subjects such as financial matters, past relationships, and religion. If you feel you are developing a close rapport, you could broach a subject carefully by softening it with a qualifier such as: “Excuse me for asking, but . . .” “I don’t mean to get personal, but . . .” Don’t take it as a personal rejection should your interactive partner choose not to answer the question. Again, keep the conversation going. And if someone asks you a personal question that you don’t wish to answer, be prepared with an easy way to demur: “I’d rather not talk about that. But I was wondering . . .” Then use the techniques described in this chapter to change the subject gracefully. Being asked an overly personal question may embarrass you. Let your comfort level be your guide. If you do not wish to answer, that’s okay. The person probably meant no offense and was asking only out of genuine interest. Try to continue on in the conversation to see what else is there. If you find your anxiety level rising, use relaxation techniques to bring it under control.””

— Jonathan Berent