There's no good reason to change a Neil Simon line. The…

“If heaven was hot and hell was chilly, tell me, why would you go to heaven?”

— Michael Bassey Johnson

“Yes, Hawai'i wanted the change that statehood has brought, but we also wanted everything to stay as it was. That is, what we really…

— Mark Ellman

Neil Simon didn't like it too much when we came out in clown makeup. We stopped doing that.

— John Ritter

When I was a kid, my father would read Neil Simon plays with me, when I was going to bed, as bedtime stories.

— Zach Woods

You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash; that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out, practically.

— Hector Elizondo

Neil [Simon] was considered our greatest [living playwright] at the time [of their marriage]. Maybe he still is; I don't know. But anyway, he…

— Marsha Mason

I have been working up until recently with Neil Simon, who has been adapting the character to me.

— Paula Abdul

When I was in high school, I read all of Neil Simon's plays.

— Darius Rucker

I liked 'Brighton Beach Memoirs,' which I did with Neil Simon. I kind of was playing him, as Eugene Morris Jerome, and I played…

— Matthew Broderick

I've really enjoyed doing 'Annie Get Your Gun' and loved Neil Simon stuff like 'Chapter Two.'

— Vicki Lawrence

I toured around the country and met all these Broadway producers who put me in all these Neil Simon plays like 'Brighton Beach Memoirs'…

— Jon Tenney

The 'My Mother the Car' script read like Neil Simon compared to the 'Gilligan's Island' script.

— Jerry Van Dyke

Joking about violence is not funny.

— Perez Hilton

You can laugh at me, but I understand show business.

— Ksenia Sobchak

'Mad TV' is one of my most favorite shows of all time and is a huge part of my obsession with sketch comedy.

— Shane Dawson