If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin…

Advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.

— Anonymous

Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:…

— Carlin Whisler

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two aspirin and…

— George Sand

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.

— Phyllis Diller

“The drinking is only a Band-Aid to cover his hurt, his loneliness, his anger, his frustration, or whatever. If we simply take the bottle…

— Tom Davis

“Being alive hurts. I have found it best not to rush for the aspirin bottle. - A Severed Wasp”

— Madeline L'Engle

The pressure gets worse the older you get. The hole starts to look the size of a Bayer aspirin.

— Gary Player

We are close to dead. There are faces and bodies like gorged maggots on the dance floor, on the highway, in the city, in…

— Norman Mailer

Nancy [Kassebaum] and I worked on a women's health agenda when I first came. Women were not included in the protocols at NIH, the…

— Barbara Mikulski

I’ve tried that. I’ve tried aspirin, too. Rusty thinks I should smoke marijuana, and I did for a while, but it only makes me…

— Truman Capote

I'm sick and tired of black and white people of good intent giving aspirin to a society that is dying of a cancerous disease.

— Ralph Abernathy

“We are living in a cultural dark age of musical pollution. You put the radio on, and five minutes later you need an aspirin.”

— Vangelis

Professionalism in medicine has given us medial miracles for the affluent but hospitals that will charge $35 for aspirin.

— Bill James

We have had two chickens in every pot, two cars in every garage, and now we have two headaches for every aspirin.

— Fiorello H. La Guardia

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

— John Barrymore