I don't even take aspirin.

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

— John Barrymore

A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.

— Groucho Marx

My head is pounding. I wish the mints were aspirin.

— Holly Black

You know, back in my days, they used Bayer aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees, and it wasn't that costly.

— Foster Friess

The sense of a long last night over civilization is back again.

— Norman Mailer

The pressure gets worse the older you get. The hole starts to look the size of a Bayer aspirin.

— Gary Player

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two aspirin and…

— George Sand

We are close to dead. There are faces and bodies like gorged maggots on the dance floor, on the highway, in the city, in…

— Norman Mailer

Nancy [Kassebaum] and I worked on a women's health agenda when I first came. Women were not included in the protocols at NIH, the…

— Barbara Mikulski

I’ve tried that. I’ve tried aspirin, too. Rusty thinks I should smoke marijuana, and I did for a while, but it only makes me…

— Truman Capote

I'm sick and tired of black and white people of good intent giving aspirin to a society that is dying of a cancerous disease.

— Ralph Abernathy

“We are living in a cultural dark age of musical pollution. You put the radio on, and five minutes later you need an aspirin.”

— Vangelis

Professionalism in medicine has given us medial miracles for the affluent but hospitals that will charge $35 for aspirin.

— Bill James

We have had two chickens in every pot, two cars in every garage, and now we have two headaches for every aspirin.

— Fiorello H. La Guardia

Clowns work as well as aspirin, but twice as fast.

— Groucho Marx