I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat - because she is of…

My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.

— Phyllis Diller

If you have a mother-in-law with only one eye and she has it in the center of her forehead, don't keep her in the…

— Lyndon B. Johnson

I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.

— Henny Youngman

I know my mother-in-law would drive two hours to go see a movie that I'm in.

— Melanie Lynskey

My mother-in-law is obsessed with clowns.

— Seth

I love my mother-in-law and I think I'm a really good one, too.

— Reba McEntire

The mother of a trophy wife is not automatically a trophy mother-in-law.

— John Grisham

I'm often accused of saying some pretty rotten things about my mother-in-law. But quite honestly, she's only got one major fault - it's called…

— Les Dawson

I don't think you have to live in the fantasy world of Westeros to have problems with your mother-in-law.

— Natalie Dormer

A mother-in-law is better than a single and childless political persona, though.

— Vladimir Zhirinovsky

Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.

— Henny Youngman

I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months-I don't like to interrupt her.

— Ken Dodd

The mother-in-law is the centre of a family.

— Les Dawson

If there's an award for best mother-in-law in the universe, in the future, when my son gets married, I will win that award.

— Laura Schlessinger

“A mother gives you a life, a mother-in-law gives you her life.”

— Amit Kalantri