Mason Cooley

Boredom turns to panic if my beloved leaves before the usual time.

— Mason Cooley

Hope likes justification, but can do without.

— Mason Cooley

Dignity takes alarm at the unexpected sound of laughter.

— Mason Cooley

Our vices are attempts to combine self-medication and enjoyment.

— Mason Cooley

The lonely become either thoughtful or empty.

— Mason Cooley

Documents create a paper reality we call proof.

— Mason Cooley

Smiling half-reluctance seems to promise more than the frankest gesture of desire.

— Mason Cooley

Getting ready: the show girl scratches her breast and shakes out her feathers.

— Mason Cooley

Beauty and virtue: the most kissable ass in the world is no guarantee of good intentions.

— Mason Cooley

Withhold admiration from a narcissist and be disliked. Give it and be treated with indifference.

— Mason Cooley

The beginning of self-knowledge: recognizing that your motives are the same as other people's.

— Mason Cooley

Against classical philosophy: thinking about eternity or the immensity of the universe does not lessen my unhappiness.

— Mason Cooley

Everyone knows that (1) happiness is the goal of life, and (2) happiness is a chimera.

— Mason Cooley

The soul is no longer honored as it once was, but it still keeps appetite from being the measure of all things.

— Mason Cooley

A happy arrangement: many people prefer cats to other people, and many cats prefer people to other cats.

— Mason Cooley

Thank God for the passing of the discomforts and vile cuisine of the age of chivalry!

— Mason Cooley

If you corner me, you are going to hear some unwelcome truths.

— Mason Cooley

I am too impatient to wait for temptation to come to me.

— Mason Cooley

A critic who uses new quotations is making important changes.

— Mason Cooley

Joy goes as deep as sorrow, but leaves less of itself behind.

— Mason Cooley

The desire to create literature leads to frights, grunts, and coy looks.

— Mason Cooley

Beware of wallflowers. They expect to have everything done for them.

— Mason Cooley

Our public monuments are memorials to the Enlightenment.

— Mason Cooley

Since we hate the same people, we should be friends.

— Mason Cooley

The flesh of past lovers looks both familiar and strange.

— Mason Cooley

Dreams surround our desires with ugliness and dread.

— Mason Cooley

Creative memory is the historian's most subtle opponent.

— Mason Cooley

The parade was here, but it disappeared around a corner.

— Mason Cooley

To be sexy, nudes need a little underwear.

— Mason Cooley

Vanity well fed is benevolent. Vanity hungry is spiteful.

— Mason Cooley

I can neither return your love nor dismiss it.

— Mason Cooley

Altruism is for those who cannot endure their desires.

— Mason Cooley

The older we become, the more certain our future.

— Mason Cooley

Pornography supplies the only really safe sex.

— Mason Cooley

Realism: the wealth of detail guarantees the truth of the tale.

— Mason Cooley

God makes the covenant, and observes it as He pleases.

— Mason Cooley

Both faith and cynicism make judgment too easy.

— Mason Cooley

The routines of tourism are even more monotonous than those of daily life.

— Mason Cooley

Compassion brings us to a stop, and for a moment we rise above ourselves.

— Mason Cooley

If I want my time wasted, I'll waste it myself.

— Mason Cooley