Mason Cooley

Lies and promises are necessary but not sufficient.

— Mason Cooley

When I go out, I hope to leave the worst of myself at home.

— Mason Cooley

A sense of absurdity interferes with my efforts to appear venerable.

— Mason Cooley

Health foods make promises that only the Second Coming could fulfill.

— Mason Cooley

Moderation in all things is best, but it's pretty hard to get excited about it.

— Mason Cooley

An ardent lover often makes a cold friend.

— Mason Cooley

I am only interested in money because everyone else is.

— Mason Cooley

Your words and my words are the same, but not our meaning.

— Mason Cooley

When love ends, we cry out against destiny. When friendship ends, we cry out against our friend.

— Mason Cooley

It is possible to interpret without observing, but not to observe without interpreting.

— Mason Cooley

Astrology: do we make a hullabaloo among the stars, or do they make a hullabaloo down here?

— Mason Cooley

Free competition exists inside shelters of law, custom, insurance, political approval, and carefully protected status.

— Mason Cooley

If I could do my life over, I would try to cleanse at least my pleasures of self-pity.

— Mason Cooley

Complainers change their complaints, but they never reduce the amount of time spent in complaining.

— Mason Cooley

People who behave at forty as they did at twenty must sometimes wonder why their charm is not working.

— Mason Cooley

There are different rules for reading, for thinking, and for talking. Writing blends all three of them.

— Mason Cooley

Conformity makes everything easier, if you can still breathe.

— Mason Cooley

We make some changes. But mostly changes make us.

— Mason Cooley

I wish you joy of your unhappiness, since you cling to it so.

— Mason Cooley

The Olympian gods cannot have grand passions because they cannot die.

— Mason Cooley

In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. Mason Cooley

— Mason Cooley

My reluctant charity shames both me and the recipient.

— Mason Cooley

Dancers dance through their pain I shrink from mine.

— Mason Cooley

Life is used up all the same, whether we save, spend, or waste it.

— Mason Cooley

By multiplying ironies, I evade commitments.

— Mason Cooley

History goes out of control almost as often as nature does.

— Mason Cooley

Talk shows are proof that conversation is dead.

— Mason Cooley

Without asceticism, self-indulgence would be insignificant.

— Mason Cooley

New York loves itself in an unkind and fanatical way.

— Mason Cooley

The grandeur of a philosophy does not certify its truth.

— Mason Cooley

All history and art are against us, but we still expect happiness in love.

— Mason Cooley

The self-righteous rule out the possibility that they are what has gone wrong.

— Mason Cooley

I love you in my dreams, but not in real life.

— Mason Cooley

Lovers do all the talking and writing. What are the Beloveds thinking?

— Mason Cooley

Lawyers may reason powerfully, but power settles most issues.

— Mason Cooley

When death comes too near, comedy and tragedy fall silent.

— Mason Cooley

I am interested in a hundred things, but only slightly.

— Mason Cooley

The theme of my autobiography could only be repetition.

— Mason Cooley

The young break rules for fun. The old for profit.

— Mason Cooley

The wretchedness of failure is the great attraction of success.

— Mason Cooley