The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven. — Mark Twain Comedy Copy Share Image
An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency. — Mark Twain Appreciation Copy Share Image
The thing for us to do is just to do our duty, and not worry about whether anybody sees us do it… — Mark Twain Duty Copy Share Image
The waves most washed me off the raft sometimes, but I hadn't any clothes on, and didn't mind. — Mark Twain Clothes Copy Share Image
He gossips habitually; he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Only when a republic's life is in danger should a man uphold his government when it is wrong. There is no other… — Mark Twain Danger Copy Share Image
Who would find out that I am a natural fool if I kept always cool and never let nature come to the… — Mark Twain Fool Copy Share Image
Life becomes fully understandable only the moment we realise that we are all mad. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
As for the dinosaur - But Noah's conscience was easy; it was not named in his cargo list and he and the… — Mark Twain America Copy Share Image
I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them,… — Mark Twain Astonishment Copy Share Image
There are no standards of taste in wine... Each man's own taste is the standard, and a majority vote cannot decide for… — Mark Twain Cooking Copy Share Image
The perfection of wisdom, and the end of true philosophy is to proportion our wants to our possessions, our ambitions to our… — Mark Twain Ambition Copy Share Image
I was warned to stop smoking, which I did, for two or three days, but it was too lonesome, and I have… — Mark Twain Balance Copy Share Image
To be a patriot, one had to say, and keep on saying, "Our Country, right or wrong," and urge on the little… — Mark Twain Country Copy Share Image
But it is a blessed provision of nature that at times like these, as soon as a man's mercury has got down… — Mark Twain Blessed Copy Share Image
The existing phrasebooks are inadequate. They are well enough as far as they go, but when you fall down and skin your… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Who are we to create a heaven and hell for ourselves, excluding animals and plants in the bargain, just because we have… — Mark Twain Animal Copy Share Image
The 2 most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
To place man properly at the present time, he stands somewhere between the angels and the French. — Mark Twain Angel Copy Share Image
Put no trust in the benefits to accrue from early rising, as set forth by the infatuated Franklin ... — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“He is in heaven now, and happy; or if not there, he bides in hell and is content; for in that place… — Mark Twain Bishop Copy Share Image
I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“diplomacy is simply the name we have agreed to give to lying about national affairs. I” — Mark Twain Diplomacy Copy Share Image
“so then I didn't care no more about him, because I don't take no stock in dead people.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Adam was the author of sin, and I wish he had taken out an international copyright on it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. — Mark Twain Life Copy Share Image
The smallest minds and the selfishest souls and the cowardliest hearts that God makes. — Mark Twain Congress Copy Share Image
The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all. — Mark Twain Life Copy Share Image
“Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.” — Mark Twain Amor Copy Share Image
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. — Mark Twain Achievement Copy Share Image
But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws, But get thee to a nunnery - go! — Mark Twain Fair Copy Share Image
I never write "metropolis" for seven cents when I can write "city" and get paid the same. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“They did not know that the quicker a fresh-water fish is on the fire after he is caught the better he is;” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage. — Mark Twain Bigotry Copy Share Image
Two days overdue, THE WORLD'S WORK has not reached me. Pray make a note of this. I would rather not have to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I am an anti-imperialist. I am opposed to having the eagle put its talons on any other land. — Mark Twain American imperialism Copy Share Image
Once you've put one of his [Henry James] books down, you simply can't pick it up again. — Mark Twain Book Copy Share Image
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. — Mark Twain Bible Copy Share Image
Braveness is resistance to concern, mastery of panic - not absense of anxiety. — Mark Twain Anxiety Copy Share Image
All I say is, kings is kings, and you got to make allowances. Take them all around, they're a mighty ornery lot.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
![“Once you've put one of his [Henry James] books down, you simply can't pick it up again.” quote by Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/83d/mark-twain-22_book_once-you-ve-put-one-of-his-henry-james-b_583187.png)
