“Life is planned with one principle objective to make you do all the particular things you particularly don't want to do.” — Mark Twain Goals Copy Share Image
“It is a shame that we must continue to use a worthless system because it was good a thousand years ago.” — Mark Twain Shame Copy Share Image
Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it. — Mark Twain Death Copy Share Image
Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Such is luck! And such the treatment which honest, good perservance gets so often at the hands of unfair and malicious Nature! — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. — Mark Twain Country Copy Share Image
It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh; and I think that I… — Mark Twain Edinburgh Copy Share Image
Not a single right is indestructible: a new might can at any time abolish it, hence, man possesses not a single permanent… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As usual, the fickle, unreasoning world took Muff Potter to its bosom and fondled him as lavishly as it had abused him… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture…He takes upon himself… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The cayote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck and friendless.… — Mark Twain Allegory Copy Share Image
“Well, Judge Thatcher he took it and put it out at interest, and it fetched us a dollar a day apiece all… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“I desire to tamper with the jury law. I wish to alter it as to put a premium on intelligence and character,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or newspaper… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
My father and I were always on the most distant terms when I was a boy--a sort of armed neutrality, so to… — Mark Twain Boys Copy Share Image
“I had to have company -- I was made for it, I think -- so I made friends with the animals. They… — Mark Twain Animal Copy Share Image
“Homer, in the second book of the Iliad says with fine enthusiasm, "Give me masturbation or give me death." Caesar, in his… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
My first American ancestor, gentlemen, was an Indian-an early Indian. Your ancestors skinned him alive, and I am an orphan. All those… — Mark Twain Alive Copy Share Image
“The coat of arms of the human race ought to consist of a man with an axe on his shoulder proceeding toward… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The laws of Nature take precedence of all human laws. The purpose of all human laws is one - to defeat the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The reason that certain tender subjects are avoided and forbidden in all other clubs is because those clubs consist of more than… — Mark Twain Communication Copy Share Image
“We must have a religion — it goes without saying — but my idea is, to have it cut up into forty… — Mark Twain Freedom Copy Share Image
We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier god than Heredity Privilege. — Mark Twain Almighty Copy Share Image
But the elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened. — Mark Twain Fear Copy Share Image
A sin takes on a new and real terror when there seems a chance that it is going to be found out. — Mark Twain Chance Copy Share Image
A street in Constantinople is a picture which one ought to see once-not oftener. — Mark Twain Constantinople Copy Share Image
“After much reflection—suppose it was a lie? What then? Was it such a great matter? Aren’t we always acting lies? Then why… — Mark Twain Lies Copy Share Image
“Credit, that rare bird of security and peace, rested with none, but stood with upraised wings, ready to fly off at the… — Mark Twain Cybersecurity Copy Share Image
Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Shall I be car-ri-ed toe the skies, on flow’ry beds of ease, Whilst others fight to win the prize, and sail thro’… — Mark Twain Fight Copy Share Image
The Indian may seem poor to we rich Westerners but in matters of the spirit it is we who are the paupers… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“I'll not go where there is any of that sort of thing going on, again. It's the sure way, and the only… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, one when he was a boy and one when he… — Mark Twain Boys Copy Share Image
The water is clearer than the air, and the air is the air that angels breathe. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
For we were little Christian children and early learned the value of forbidden fruit. — Mark Twain Children Copy Share Image
Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
My kind of loyalty was loyalty to one's country, not to its institutions or its office-holders. — Mark Twain Country Copy Share Image
