I fell in love with the most cordial and sociable city in the Union. — Mark Twain Bay area Copy Share Image
I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time. — Mark Twain Cigar Copy Share Image
I knew a man who grabbed a cat by the tail and learned forty percent more about cats than the man who… — Mark Twain Cat Copy Share Image
Patriotism is usually the refuge of the scoundrel. He is the man who talks the loudest. — Mark Twain Dissent Copy Share Image
There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless. — Mark Twain Character Copy Share Image
Well, no doubt it's a blessed thing to have an imagination that can always make you satisfied, no matter how you are… — Mark Twain Blessed Copy Share Image
Imagine, if you will, that I am an idiot. Then, imagine that I am also a Congressman. But, alas, I repeat myself. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you want me to give you a two-hour presentation, I am ready today. If you want only a five-minute speech, it… — Mark Twain Communication Copy Share Image
Seasickness: at first you are so sick you are afraid you will die, and then you are so sick you are afraid… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Indeed, none but the Deity can tell what is good luck and what is bad before the returns are all in. — Mark Twain Deities Copy Share Image
I will remark in the way of general information, that in California, that land of felicitous nomenclature, the literary name of this… — Mark Twain California Copy Share Image
Men think they think upon the great political questions, and they do; but they think with their party, not independently; they read… — Mark Twain Books Copy Share Image
Pilgrim's Progress , about a man that left his family, it didn't say why. I read considerable in it now and then.… — Mark Twain Family Copy Share Image
The North thinks it knows how to make corn bread, but this is a gross superstition. Perhaps no bread in the world… — Mark Twain Bread Copy Share Image
Of the 417 commandments, only a single one of the 417 has found ministerial obedience; multiply and replenish the earth. To it… — Mark Twain Atheism Copy Share Image
“There’s no such thing as an uninteresting life, such a thing is an impossibility. Beneath the dullest exterior, there is a drama,… — Mark Twain Drama Copy Share Image
In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to… — Mark Twain Brass Copy Share Image
“and a manner so peculiar and romantic, and extraneous, and ad libitum, and heart-searching, that—that—he—he is an impressionist, I presume?" "No," said… — Mark Twain Artist Copy Share Image
“He listened some more; then he come tiptoeing down and stood right between us; we could a touched him, nearly. Well, likely… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Now, children, I want you all to sit up just as straight and pretty as you can and give me all your… — Mark Twain Children Copy Share Image
Man has been here 32,000 years. That it took a hundred million years to prepare the world for him is proof that… — Mark Twain Age Copy Share Image
If husbands could realize what large returns of profit may be gotten out of a wife by a small word of praise… — Mark Twain Argument Copy Share Image
The editor of a newspaper cannot be independent, but must work with one hand tied behind him by party and patrons, and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“I know your race. It is made up of sheep. It is governed by minorities, seldom or never by majorities. It suppresses… — Mark Twain Long ago Copy Share Image
“The truth was, the nation as a body was in the world for one object, and one only: to grovel before king… — Mark Twain Slave Copy Share Image
We have to keep our God placated with prayer, and even then we are never sure of him-how much higher and finer… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth. — Mark Twain Honest truth Copy Share Image
Once you've put one of his books down, you simply can't pick it up again. — Mark Twain Book Copy Share Image
Richard Wagner: A composer whose music is better than it sounds — Mark Twain Composer Copy Share Image
Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many. — Mark Twain Ageing Copy Share Image
