The novels I planned to write were never going to be funny books about Jews. They were going to be country house… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
As for 'Great Expectations', it is up there for me with the world's greatest novels, not least as it vindicates plot as… — Howard Jacobson Books Copy Share Image
I've always liked older women. One sad thing about being my age is that there are no older women. I used to… — Howard Jacobson Age Copy Share Image
You cannot exercise and be amused about it. You cannot integrate the dying bug into your core workout and hold to the… — Howard Jacobson Body Copy Share Image
If the great thing about the Internet is that it throws wide the doors of discussion to everyone, the bad thing about… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
My mother's side taught me to be a little bit afraid of everything. For a long time, I was quiet and cautious.… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
No traveller ever sets out with so little idea of where he is going or how he is going to get there… — Howard Jacobson Art Copy Share Image
You don't have to believe the electorate secretly hankers for a dose of Marxist-Leninism to accept that there are deep levels of… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
Every time I criticize the anti-Zionists, they say, 'You are trying to silence us.' I don't deny there are some people who… — Howard Jacobson Israel Copy Share Image
With 'J', at a deep base level, there is still some comedy, but that masculinist voice that had driven so many of… — Howard Jacobson Comedy Copy Share Image
You don't have to be in pursuit of a body beautiful to wish yourself to be the flexuously willowy creature you once… — Howard Jacobson Beautiful Copy Share Image
“A waitress, bringing Finkler more hot water, interrupted Treslove's answer. Finkler always asked for more hot water no matter how much hot… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
I've always said if a woman is looking for a good husband, she should go for a Jewish man past 60. Jewish… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
I was a 'reverence for life' man - 'see life steadily and see it whole' - in my days as a lecturer… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
The day I don't attend to my nostrils is the day I will have forsworn that world and become a different person.… — Howard Jacobson Day Copy Share Image
When people speak to me of the torment of writing, I can think only of what it was like before I wrote:… — Howard Jacobson Nothing Copy Share Image
Looking back, I realise it wasn't only gym I dreaded at school. Every class was a torment. It wasn't knowledge I objected… — Howard Jacobson Books Copy Share Image
Homesickness is universal. But Neapolitan homesickness goes back further than the accidents of domicile. It is nostalgia for love and loss themselves,… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
Although I was too young to understand the theory of universal (that's to say male) guilt, I was old enough to know… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
'Legality' is a mad phrase to use when it comes to the founding of nations. Australia was founded on illegality. For the… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
How Donald Trump has come so far with so few words - how he even managed to keep up conversationally with all… — Howard Jacobson Beauty Copy Share Image
You fall in love differently when you are young and far from home in a seductive place. You fall in love with… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
The perfect bacon sandwich is on white bread, very soft and very thick. Sourdough with a good crust. The bacon is half… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
Show me a university which is a hotbed of thin-skinned offence-taking, where every unacceptable idea is policed and every person who happens… — Howard Jacobson Crime Copy Share Image
When I see ultra-Orthodox Jews stamping all over Jaffa, or when I see them deciding who is a Jew, I think: 'What's… — Howard Jacobson Dream Copy Share Image
It's a weakness of mine to forget what it is I've just been talking about so that when people make witty allusions… — Howard Jacobson Allusions Copy Share Image
This is now the way our culture prioritises. Look up 'Steppenwolf,' and you'll get the band before the novel. Look up Jesus… — Howard Jacobson Culture Copy Share Image
Nobody who's thought about politics or democracy over the thousands of years that people have been thinking about democracy hasn't come up… — Howard Jacobson Democracy Copy Share Image
I find Australia compelling and vexatious at the best of times; I've never been able to get it out of my system… — Howard Jacobson Australia Copy Share Image
Leaned on by Turkey and understandably wary of false equivalences - for not every death is a massacre, and not every war… — Howard Jacobson Armenian genocide Copy Share Image
I've been married three times. I married the girl next door when I was 22, and I wasn't a good husband, but… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
Trump's hobbled vocabulary is now the incontestable stuff of comedy: not just how few his words but how narrow their range, from… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
I once belonged to a health club, where it cost me £2,000 a year to amble on a treadmill for half an… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
It is good for a person who has suffered from acute shyness, as I had, to find that he can cause as… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
I am happiest now. There's nothing like running out of time to make you realise you're in the right skin, with the… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
