Hendrik Groen

“Mrs. Vergeer pushed Mr. Vergeer down the stairs, wheelchair and all.”

— Hendrik Groen

“Time is slipping through my fingers like a ripe banana.”

— Hendrik Groen

“All things considered, it's through luck rather than wisdom that we still exist.”

— Hendrik Groen

“This morning Anja handed me a stack of papers. Our very own WikiLeaks!”

— Hendrik Groen

“To celebrate the fact that I don’t have lung cancer, I lit up an extra cigar.”

— Hendrik Groen

“Old people and toddlers get along famously.”

— Hendrik Groen

“Not letting yourself grow lonely costs a great deal of—sometimes fruitless—effort.”

— Hendrik Groen

“Falls are the leading cause of injury among people sixty-five and older.”

— Hendrik Groen

“I may possibly be a candidate for Alzheimer’s myself, since I’m finding crude jokes much funnier now than I once did. I…

— Hendrik Groen

“I’ve been a bit constipated lately, you see, and the Virgin Mary calendar hangs in the bathroom. It has passages from the…

— Hendrik Groen

“Mrs. Aupers has taken to walking backward of late, because she thinks it makes her have to pee less often.”

— Hendrik Groen

“A dementia patient yesterday stuck a billiard ball in his mouth, and it couldn’t be dislodged by any means.”

— Hendrik Groen

“Evert recently asked the assembled, out of the blue, if any of them were still keeping their pubic hair properly trimmed.”

— Hendrik Groen

“Only trivial annoyances still matter. “If Greece goes bankrupt the bingo prizes will probably get smaller,” was Mrs. Schouten’s analysis of the…

— Hendrik Groen

“Another pet catastrophe: Mrs. Schreuder accidentally vacuumed up her canary while she was cleaning its cage.”

— Hendrik Groen

“The three Rs apply not only to children, but also to the elderly: Rest, Recreation and Routine.”

— Hendrik Groen

“Jealousy in old age sometimes goes to ridiculous lengths. Owing to the overabundance of women here, the married ladies do not like…

— Hendrik Groen

“I might as well go and sit in the Conversation Lounge downstairs. Complaining is pastime number one down there. I don’t think…

— Hendrik Groen

“At the other end of the spectrum we have fat Mr. Bakker. His record: one entire Limburg apple crumb cake and half…

— Hendrik Groen

“Mr. Bakker, this home’s biggest pain in the neck, ran his Canta through the car wash but forgot to close his window.…

— Hendrik Groen

“One of the most exciting moments of the day: what kind of cookies will we have with our tea and coffee today?…

— Hendrik Groen

“Code Red yesterday, wind force 10. Nobody went outside. Every storm inevitably brings up the old story about stubborn old Mrs. Gravenbeek,…

— Hendrik Groen

“I’ll give God one last chance: if at three o’clock this afternoon I suddenly find myself able to run the 100-yard dash…

— Hendrik Groen

“Grietje had chosen a film in 3D for us to see, which was for all of us a new experience: Cars, really…

— Hendrik Groen

“Mrs. Visser has invited me in for a cup of tea tomorrow afternoon. I should have declined, if only because of how…

— Hendrik Groen

“I got a traffic ticket! For jumping a red light on my scooter. It turned out that I was being tailed by…

— Hendrik Groen

“There exists a home for senior dogs where sick, handicapped old mutts live out their days in a homey setting. They are…

— Hendrik Groen

“It seems old-age homes are teeming with junkies. They’re addicted to sleeping pills containing benzodiazepines. Huh? Yes, benzodiazepines. They also help assuage…

— Hendrik Groen

“Some of the ladies will put on their fanciest dresses to watch the interview with Prince Willem-Alexander and Princess Máxima. Out of…

— Hendrik Groen

“It now turns out that at least half the residents always thought Krol was a shifty sort of fellow. The fact that…

— Hendrik Groen

“There was a resident who made a habit of staying in bed all day on Friday the thirteenth, just to make sure…

— Hendrik Groen

“The last Saturday of the month: bingo night. Geriatric gambling addicts competing for a box of cherry-liqueur chocolates. The head of the…

— Hendrik Groen

“Young sunlight on old bones is one of the best antidotes to depression.”

— Hendrik Groen

“The choice therefore was fried rice or fried rice.”

— Hendrik Groen

“most scooter operators are terrible drivers, worse even than Mr. Magoo.”

— Hendrik Groen

“He couldn’t get over it: some Chinese man paid €310,000 for a Belgian prize pigeon.”

— Hendrik Groen

“As long as there are plans, there's life.”

— Hendrik Groen

“You are born, you die, and the rest is just marking time” (James Joyce).”

— Hendrik Groen

“They do say that freezing to death, like drowning, is a good way to die. If you can believe those who lived…

— Hendrik Groen

“I tend to choose the path of least confrontation. My specialty: wanting to please everybody.”

— Hendrik Groen