I have often argued that a poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child. I begin to suspect that… — H. L. Mencken Children Copy Share Image
Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable. — H. L. Mencken Belief Copy Share Image
The objection to a Communist always resolves itself into the fact that he is not a gentleman. — H. L. Mencken Communism Copy Share Image
The essence of self-fulfillment and autonomous culture is an unshakable egotism. — H. L. Mencken Autonomous Copy Share Image
Pastor: One employed by the wicked to prove to them by his example that virtue doesn't pay. — H. L. Mencken Agnostic Copy Share Image
After all, the world is not our handiwork, and we are not responsible for what goes on in it, save within very… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
I believe that religion, generally speaking, has been a curse to mankind. — H. L. Mencken Agnosticism Copy Share Image
A wealthy man is one who earns $100 a year more than his wife's sister's husband. — H. L. Mencken Husband Copy Share Image
Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule—and both… — H. L. Mencken Anti war Copy Share Image
Correct spelling, indeed, is one of the arts that are far more esteemed by schoolma’ams than by practical men, neck-deep in the… — H. L. Mencken Agony Copy Share Image
Nine out of ten Americans are actually monarchists at bottom. The fact is proved by their high suseptibility to political claims by… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
The course of the United States in World War II, I said, was dishonest, dishonorable, and ignominious, and the Sunpapers, by supporting… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
I do not believe in democracy, but I am perfectly willing to admit that it provides the only really amusing form of… — H. L. Mencken Amusing Copy Share Image
When I die, I shall be content to vanish into nothingness… No show, however good, could conceivably be good forever I do… — H. L. Mencken Atheist Copy Share Image
There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so… — H. L. Mencken Humor Copy Share Image
Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and missing? That's the way… — H. L. Mencken Atlantic ocean Copy Share Image
To be happy one must be (a) well fed, unhounded by sordid cares, at ease in Zion, (b) full of a comfortable… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
Even a superstitious man has certain inalienable rights: the right to harbor and indulge his imbecilities, provided only that he does not… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
Consider... the university professor. What is his function? Simply to pass on to fresh generations of numskulls a body of so-called knowledge… — H. L. Mencken Avarice Copy Share Image
The theory behind representative government is that superior men-or at least men not inferior to the average in ability and integrity-are chosen… — H. L. Mencken Ability Copy Share Image
What is any political campaign save a concerted effort to turn out a set of politicians who are admittedly bad and put… — H. L. Mencken Assumption Copy Share Image
In the United States...politics is purged of all menace, all sinister quality, all genuine significance, and stuffed with such gorgeous humors, such… — H. L. Mencken Campaigns Copy Share Image
A sound American is simply one who has put out of his mind all doubts and questionings, and who accepts instantly, and… — H. L. Mencken Ability Copy Share Image
The essence of a sound style is that it cannot be reduced to rules-that it is a living and breathing thing with… — H. L. Mencken Breathing Copy Share Image
The most satisfying and ecstatic faith is almost purely agnostic. It trusts absolutely without professing to know at all. — H. L. Mencken Agnostic Copy Share Image
No man is worthy of unlimited reliance-his treason, at best, only waits for sufficient temptation. — H. L. Mencken Corruption Copy Share Image
No man ever quite believes in any other man. One may believe in an idea absolutely, but not in a man. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
There are two impossibilities in life: "just one drink" and "an honest politician." — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
There is always an easy solution to every problem - neat, plausible, and wrong. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
Looking for an honest politician is like looking for an ethical burglar. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
The ideal state for a philosopher, indeed, is celibacy tempered by polygamy. — H. L. Mencken Celibacy Copy Share Image
Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian. — H. L. Mencken Baseball Copy Share Image
Poverty is a soft pedal upon the branches of human activity, not excepting the spiritual. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I… — H. L. Mencken Being thankful Copy Share Image
Always remember this: If you don't attend the funerals of your friends, they will certainly not attend yours. — H. L. Mencken Age Copy Share Image
No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven. — H. L. Mencken Democracy Copy Share Image
A dull, dark, depressing day in Winter: the whole world looks like a Methodist church at Wednesday night prayer meeting. — H. L. Mencken Belief Copy Share Image
Only a jackass ever talks over his affairs with a woman, whether she be his sweetheart, wife, or sister, or mother. — H. L. Mencken Affair Copy Share Image
